Light, Dark, and In-Between
by ShitanePaiko
Summary: Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo all live after the explosion that was meant to kill Cloud. But they are left weakened, damaged, and hated. What will they do? Who will they trust and who will become their enemy? Might be rated M for lots of violence and blood.
1. Chapter 1: Wrecked and Lost

_What if none of the remnants of Sephiroth died? They all live, all three of them. Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz now live, weakened, hurt, and hated. So what do they do? Who will they end up trusting and who will be their enemy? That's basically what this whole story is about._

_I had a story like this up earlier but I deleted it...I was gonna work on another chapter to that when I suddenly got a flash of so many potential ideas of how to make it better and awesomer but that involved restarting the whole story...XD...so that's what I'm doing now. I thoroughly hope that this will end up as a much better fanfic. XD_

_Warning: This fanfic will include lots of violence, blood, and such. I feel like I should probably rate it M for the amount of violence included later just to be safe…^^;...but for now its rated T._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII...not even one single bit...T^T...sadly..._

Kadaj gasps, feeling the heavy presence of the defeated Sephiroth depart from his body and soul, leaving him like a broken puppet to collapse on the floor. His chest heaves shakily, struggling to draw breathes into the pitiful state his body was in. A strange feeling washes over him, one he never felt in his short existence but surely one he recognized even though it was foreign to him. Defeat. There was no mistake. He had been defeated by Cloud Strife, his so called 'nii-san'.

Even though it had been Sephiroth up there who had been slashed and destroyed, the same wounds were replicated on the poor remnant's own body. He glances down briefly at his torn leather clothing to reveal much blood dripping through the gaps and onto the stone beneath him. Kadaj knows, as he uselessly presses a hand against one wound, that he probably wouldn't be living much longer unless someone saves him.

He had failed his mother. Jenova's angry voice reverberates inside his skull, adding a dull pain in his head to the unbearable pain he already felt in the rest of his body and soul. Ever since he had absorbed the contents of the box, his mother's voice was constantly raging inside his head, ordering him to do whatever she wished him to do. Mother wasn't going to let him fail this easily without pain and a fight.

Kadaj scowls clenching his fists, fighting back tears of burning rage, disappointment, and hurt. A sudden drive of anger, pushes him to use some of his last bits of energy to look up at the man standing before him.

Blood covered the man, staining that yellow hair pink with blood. Cloud's physical beat up form made him seem exhausted and weak, but it was in those confident bright blue mako eyes that gave him that look of power and strength.

Kadaj closes his bright green eyes briefly, letting the rage spur on his next movements. With a gasp, he jerks his head up, anger flashing in his eyes. Mother wanted Cloud dead now. This man had destroyed everything. All their plans gone...destroyed because of him. He hated Cloud. Hated. Hated. Hated. Hated. Jenova's commanding voice orders him to stand up and slay the ex-soldier at this moment, regardless of the pain and diminishing energy left in him. Kadaj was never one to disobey his mother's orders.

Groaning slightly as he stands up on his shaky legs, Kadaj picks up his Souba, keeping his eyes locked onto Cloud. His vision darkens for a moment as he stands up, making him blink a bit to clear it away. He struggles to take a deep breath to calm his shaking body that could hardly support itself anymore, but it didn't seem to be doing any good. All he wanted to do now was to collapse on the ground and sleep for a decade. But no, he had to do what his mother wanted.

Digging his nails into the palm of his hand, Kadaj forces himself to stay standing and awake. With the last bits of his dwindling strength, he launches himself at Cloud with a scream of pure rage.

His Souba was in the air, glinting dangerously in the bit of light breaking through the clouds, ready to strike down his enemy, but his energy suddenly falters on him, leaving Kadaj to stumble while dropping his sword on the ground in the process with a loud clatter. The momentum from his attempted attack sends him stumbling forward. His hands stretch out in front of him as if to brace himself for the fall but he knew that his arms did not have any more strength left in them to do so. Kadaj squeezes his eyes shut, ready for the impact of his damaged body against the floor.

But it never came. Instead, he found himself lying there exhausted in Cloud's arms. Forcing shallow breaths into his shaking body, Kadaj gazes up at Cloud, knowing that he was at the mercy of him.

Suddenly, Kadaj screams writhing in pain in Cloud's arms as his mother's raging voice fills his head once more, berating him for his failure and uselessness. The loud thundering voice refuses to go away, even as he clutches his head, trying to make it stop. The voice drowned out his own screams which sounded distant and muffled. He wasn't going to fail. Cloud was going to die, no matter what the costs were.

"Nii-san…" Kadaj chokes out as he gazes into Cloud's confused eyes. He thought he saw worry and pity within them, but Kadaj dismisses it as his own desperate mind playing tricks on him. There was no way his enemy could have such feelings toward him.

Kadaj's hand reaches out shakily towards his sword on the ground even though he knew it was way beyond his reach. He would not disappoint his mother. He would kill Cloud. It was his mother's wish.

He suddenly stops, his hand ceasing in inching its way towards Souba as he felt something wet hit his face with a sharp stinging sensation. Confused, Kadaj averts his gaze to the sky where it had slowly begun to rain. As stinging water droplets trickles down his skin, he realizes that this was no normal rain. It was that water in the church which had stung him, forcing him to retreat. The water that healed Cloud's geostigma was also the water that had hurt him. Of course it was going to hurt him. Kadaj was the enemy, the darkness that was never going to mix with the light which the water held. Only the light will mix with the light. All the people and beings with light in their souls would be healed with the water, leaving only the few in the darkness to be repeled by such light.

A voice echoes from the sky, directed at Kadaj, a soothing voice compared to the raging voice in his head. Even though his mother was Jenova, this voice was one that made him feel calm, like the soothing voice of a mother comforting a child.

Kadaj struggles to hear what the voice was saying, but the loud commanding voice of Jenova causes him to hear only his mother's wrath and disgust in his failure. It drowned out the other voice, drowning out his own thoughts and reasoning in the process.

Cloud was gazing up at the sky, a content and relieved look on his face. The kids with the geostigma were going to be cured, much to Kadaj's dismay.

A sudden gunshot rings through the air startling both Cloud and Kadaj from their thoughts. Kadaj suddenly finds the supportive arms beneath him losing their grip, allowing him to complete his ungraceful fall to the ground. A sharp gasp escaped his throat as the feel of cold ground against his wounds sends a blinding flash of pain all around, causing his vision to go blackish red for a moment. Kadaj glaces up to see what had just occurred.

A familiar red splotch that he had seen many times before was slowly spreading across Cloud's abdomen, crimson blood dripping onto the already bloodstained ground. A glimmer of hope rushes through Kadaj. There was still a chance to please his demanding mother. Kadaj's eyes rest upon his brothers standing not far away, materia shining dangerously in their arms.

In Yazoo's hand, the gun which had been used for the final time clatters onto the ground, accompanied by the ragged breaths of the two brothers. Loz stands beside Yazoo, determination filling his eyes. The two of them had almost been killed by that reckless bomb left by the two Turks. But they had survived, survived to kill Cloud.

Both were ready to strike. However, Yazoo's eyes land on Kadaj who was struggling to pick himself off the floor. Yazoo and Loz both knew that what they were going to do next could cost them their own lives as well as Kadaj's. They hesitate, wondering if they were really willing to risk all that.

Kadaj knows that if he doesn't get away from this area, he will be caught in the death blast and possibly be killed. But all his energy had been sapped away leaving none left for this last bit. He digs his nails into the stone ground, hoping to drag himself away, but his arms just shake, unable to pull the rest of his body anywhere.

"Do it already!" Kadaj yells, overwhelmed by exhaustion and the voice of Mother telling him to tell the other two to do it, even if he ends up dying.

After all, they were all just puppets. Puppets to manipulate at the will of Jenova. Kadaj knew of this long ago, but upon the indifferent, angry, berating voice of his mother, he snaps. He just wanted to be loved by his mother, pleasing her by doing whatever she wanted. Deep within his mind, he knew that Mother would not care for them in the slightest way, but he had shoved that thought away, barricading that thought deep in his mind where the light will never shine there. However, it was only now that the thought finally broke free, flashing around in his mind, unable to be ignored. It was a fact that could not be denied. Jenova never cared for the remnants as long as they did what she wanted. As soon as she accomplishes her goals, she would throw them all away, discarded and forgotten. Her tone and words said it all.

"Kill him!" Kadaj shrieks, barely recognizing the voice as his own, having no control over his actions now. He wanted to shout to let him get away first but he found himself shouting the exact opposite. "It doesn't matter what happens to me!"

Kadaj's eyes widen in horror. Jenova wouldn't care if he died. He was of little matter to her.

"We will go together…" Yazoo manages to choke out, preparing himself for what is to come next.

Loz smiles sadly, gazing at Kadaj and Cloud. "Yeah...we'll play...together."

Kadaj could only watch from the ground as what happened next seemed to play in slow motion. With a determined look in his eyes, Cloud rushes towards Yazoo and Loz, even though the smarter idea seemed to be to run away instead. Yazoo and Loz smile sadly before they did it.

The world explodes in front of Kadaj's very own eyes. The fire and chaos reflects off his green eyes as fear and panic. This could not be the end of his existence. A scream reverberates in his ears but he wasn't sure whether it came from him or someone else over the roar of the explosion. Kadaj feels his limp body get flung away from the blast, a burning and sharp pain clouding his vision.

Then, the world turned black.

* * *

Kadaj cracks open his eyes, groaning faintly as the pain spikes with every small movement. He could hear his own breathing - faint, shallow, and ragged with each breath causing a sharp rattling sound in his throat. It probably was hurting to breath but it was difficult to tell with the rest of the pain drowning it out. His breath suddenly catches in his throat, sending him into a fit of coughs. Kadaj was sure he would end up coughing up all his internal organs if it didn't subside. Struggling to control the coughs, he glances around the room.

His vision was fuzzy with lights and darkness hovering in the corner of his gaze. Slowly, he blinks to clear that away, adjusting to the bright room from the sunlight streaming through a window. Kadaj realizes that he was in a bed in a room he didn't recognize.

Panic suddenly floods his mind. Where was he? How did he get here?

There were voices in the room which sounded faint and muffled to his drowsy mind. Struggling to focus, he finally manages to focus enough to unscramble the gibberish he heard at first.

"It looks like he's finally awake…" A female voice says, sounding a bit worried and relieved at the same time. "Do you think it was a smart idea to bring him here and let him recover...I mean...what he did…"

"Yeah…" a familiar male voice replies calmly. Kadaj recognizes that voice vividly, but he just couldn't place a face or a name to that voice for some strange reason. "I think I pity him. He deserves a second chance...that's what Aerith would have wanted...and Zack. Plus I doubt he can harm us in the state that he is in."

Kadaj struggles to remember the face of the man talking, but still is unable to. Letting out a small breath of annoyance, he attempts to twists his neck to look at the man. However, a crick in his neck and the pain that accompanied the small movement results in him whimpering instead. He felt weak beyond imagination. He hated that. He hated feeling weak and useless. He hated it all.

Kadaj tries again to turn his neck but instead, a soft gentle hand finds its place on his cheek, forcing him to cease his attempt.

A sudden torrent of rage seeps through his body. He wasn't weak. A simple hand wouldn't stop him from doing what he wanted to do, even though all he wanted to do was see who was speaking.

"Don't move unless you want to hurt yourself even more." The female voice whispers sternly into his ear, startling him for a brief moment. Kadaj freezes in his attempt to see who was speaking, relaxing his aching tense muscles.

The female leans over to look directly into Kadaj's eyes, studying him intently. Kadaj could now see the face of the woman but he couldn't figure out who it was yet. Her brown eyes seemed to be able to look deep into his soul and emotions, knowing his steaming rage that was ready to explode without any warning.

Another face fills his vision, this one resulting in a sudden snap of memory. The yellow hair that always seemed to resemble a chocobo with mako eyes watches him. Kadaj shakes violently, hoping that his memory was playing mind games with him, making him see things that shouldn't be there. This man should have been killed. Cloud should be dead. But here he was, no matter how many times the remnant willed for him to go away, alive without any sign of wounds and such from the battle and explosion.

The horrified look on Kadaj's face was enough to tell both of them what he was thinking.

"Yes I'm alive." Cloud says, answering that hanging question in Kadaj's mind. "And you should be glad you survived as well...barely survived."

The woman nods. "And don't you try anything stupid like trying to kill Cloud now. You know that your body is in no position to fight at this moment. Heck you can barely turn your neck, am I right?"

Hesitantly, Kadaj nods his head slightly, wincing at the bit of pain it caused.

Cloud sighs. "That's enough, Tifa. I'm pretty sure he knows himself that it would be a stupid idea to try to assassinate me."

Tifa...so that was her name. Kadaj felt hatred towards her, even though it was probably that woman who had taken care of him while he was unconscious, saving him from death. He hated her for having depended on her to live. He felt even more hate towards Cloud. Mother wanted him dead and Kadaj had almost succeeded. How the hell had he survived? Now mother was going to be disappointed in him and everyone knew he hated to disappoint his mother.

That's when he finally realizes that he had never heard his mother's voice ever since he had woken up. It was gone, seemingly to have been blown away by the wind, hopefully never to return. The screaming voice had hurt his head, making him want to smash his head into the wall in hopes of it going away. But among that relief, he felt a sharp pang of emptiness and sadness. Everything he had done, even his existence, was for Jenova. He had wanted to be cared for, and that voice was sort of like someone acknowledging that he was there for a reason. Now with his mother's voice gone, he felt even more alone than before. At least he had his brothers with him back then to cope with the loneliness.

Thinking about his brothers, Kadaj wonders where Yazoo and Loz were. Hopefully they were out there, safe and sound. But that notion seemed unlikely.

Glancing around the room, he opens his mouth to speak but the faint raspy sound that came out instead makes Kadaj wince.

"Don't speak." Tifa orders. "Just know that you are somewhere safe to recover. Realize that you're being given a second chance here. If you screw this up, we'll be forced to kill you."

Kadaj sighs softly, trying to relax again realizing that he was really tense with dread and anxiety. The sudden silence around the room gives him time to think about Jenova and whether she really loved him or not. Only the sound of water boiling in a teapot could be heard amongst his ragged breathing.

It was then that he suddenly realizes how Cloud was intently staring at his face. The look seemed pitiful and faintly horrified. Puzzled, Kadaj stares back at Cloud, wondering what was it exactly that he was staring out. That's when he notices his reflection in Cloud's eyes. It was brief but it was enough to send a jolt of fear and horror creeping up his spine. Kadaj's eyes widen as Cloud turns his head away in guilt, his mouth forming a small 'o' shape in realization.

Ignoring the sudden pain his unsteady movements causes, he props himself up on an elbow. Noticing what Kadaj was doing, Tifa rushes over to gently push Kadaj back down in bed. But it was too late. He had already seen his faint reflection in the window.

What he saw wasn't the pale smooth face he remembered himself having. Instead, what he saw were many cuts and scars, painting the right side of his face with the harsh strokes of a brush. Squeezing his eyes shut, Kadaj could still see his reflection clearly in the darkness. The right side of his face was mutilated, no longer unblemished from the many marks remaining as evidence of the explosion. A quick glance at the rest of his body told him the same thing. The right side of his body hurt more than the other side. The many cuts, scars, and bruises dancing up and down there told him exactly why.

Faced with the image of how he turned out to be, Kadaj promptly leans over the side of the bed and throws up all that remains in his stomach.

* * *

The long haired remnant wakes up, shaking his aching head as he tries to clear his foggy vision. He was sitting in the middle of nowhere, dirt and blood covering his entire body. His left arm aches, a bloody and terrible mess. Groaning softly, he tries to rub away the pain in his head only for him to feel something wet and sticky come off onto his hand. Pulling his hand in front of his eyes, he studies the crimson blood dripping through his fingers as he finally notices his pink stained hair from the blood.

A more masculine remnant sits up besides him, looking around weakly with a damaged right arm. He whimpers quietly in pain, letting tears cloud his vision for a short while. After a while, he notices his brother watching him carefully, a strange puzzled look on his face.

"Y...Yazoo…" Loz manages to stammer out, wiping his eyes to prevent the tears from falling, something that Yazoo had always scolded him for doing. Crying was a sign of weakness was what he always told Loz.

An even more confused look crosses Yazoo's face. "...Who?" he asks hesitantly, struggling to remember.

Loz freezes. This couldn't be happening. "Yazoo...that's your name...d...don't you remember…"

Yazoo stares at his hand while his head continues to throb with continuous pain. "No...I don't remember…"

"Do you remember anything? Who you are? What you did?" Loz chokes out, hoping that Yazoo was maybe playing a joke on him. But Loz knew that Yazoo was never one to joke around. "A...and...who I am?"

Hesitantly, Yazoo shakes his head, none of those words fishing out memories from his mind. "How did I get here? Why is there so much blood?...who are you?"

That was all he could take. Loz burst into a stream of tears, sniffling as he struggles to control those emotions. His brother didn't remember anything, nothing at all. It was heartbreaking. He had looked up to Yazoo many times, marveling his abilities and smartness compared to his own clumsiness and stupidity. The only thing he had that Yazoo didn't was his physical strength.

"Y...Yazoo…" Loz starts saying shakily. He takes a deep breath, struggling to cease his crying, and starts all over again. "Yazoo...that's your name. I'm your brother...Loz. Do you remember that?"

Yazoo shakes his head, trying to open the doors in his mind that lead to such memories.

"A..and we had another brother named Kadaj. We're trying to find mother...Jenova. Kadaj lead us through it all."

Yazoo sighs, finding none of what Loz was telling him understandable nor familiar. All he remembers is all the things that had happened to him since he woke up. Before then, it was just an empty void in his memories. He stands up, gazing around the empty land.

"Do you know where we are?" Yazoo asks hesitantly, looking down at Loz hopefully.

Loz shakes his head. "No." He tries to stand up after Yazoo but finds that his legs were not responding to the command from his brain. He tries again but only ends up flopping on his side, sending a jolt of pain up his right arm. "Umm...Yazoo...I don't think I can stand."

Yazoo frowns at his brother, getting down on one knee to place a hand on his leg. "Can you feel my touch?"

Shaking in fear, Loz shakes his head slowly. "I...I can't feel anything in my legs."

Licking his dry lips, Yazoo removes his shaky hands from Loz's legs. All around them was dirt and rocks, with nothing that seemed familiar in any way.

"What do we do now…?" Loz mumbles, quivering in fear in anticipation of Yazoo's reply.

"I...I don't know…" Yazoo responds, giving the answer that Loz wishes wasn't true.

"You always knew what to do." Loz whimpers helplessly.

Yazoo looks down at his hands again, willing for his past memories to resurface. "Well...now...I don't…"

The two of them sit there, looking around at the large expanse of nothingness, feeling hopeless and lost beyond imagination.

_A/N: This is the longest chapter I have ever written….\( A )/...but I feel happy for accomplishing this...XD...so yeah...basically they survive. Kadaj wakes up with the right side of his body messed up and full of scars and cuts and completely mutilated. Yazoo wakes up with no memory of his short life. Loz can't walk. All three are hurting and lost both physically and mentally. So what will they do?XP Find out next chapter whenever it comes out which may be a long time...XD_

_Please review and tell me what you think of this so far! XD_


	2. Chapter 2: Real Dreams

_Well...I have the sudden urge to write already...and...well...XD...I'm kinda stuck on ideas for some other stories so I might as well work on this for a while. There are some ideas for this which I really wanna write already...XP...I want to say thank you for the nine reviews that I got! I totally appreciate them! XD. Gosh...I don't know how to start this chapter...too many ways to do it...well...might as well pick one of them and go with the flow...XD...but first...a reply to all you reviewers! XD...ah...gods...how the heck am I supposed to do this...I've got three people who have reviewed as 'guest's...O_o...hey...people who review when they aren't signed or in have an account...please fill something in the name spot cuz i gotta reply to them...can't afford to mix them up...XD_

* * *

_Mephi: Thank you! XD...Cloud can survive that explosion without any injuries cus that's what happened in the movie...XD...but...that did give me ideas on some stuff I can add into this chapter or later ones to make it more interesting! XD _

_princesslolitatheorca654: that was a long pen name to type…*sweatdrop* well...thank you for those three positive words! XD_

_JilianLo: When Kadaj shouted 'kill him!', I was aiming more towards the fact that Jenova was partially controlling his thoughts and actions...but...he probably maybe still would have shouted that regardless...maybe...i dunno...I'm not Kadaj...XD...But...you want to read more someday? well I'll give ya more now! XD. Enjoy!_

_Guest: Okie...this is the guest who had the smiley emoticon at the end of their review. I'll try to get this chapter written as fast as I can! XD_

_Guest: this is the guest who said 'hope you have a nice day'...XP...Glad to hear such positive words...XD...I've always wanted for the remnants survive so I guess I can make that happen here...XD...my story so i can do whatever i want with it...XP...teehee._

_Guest: this is the guest whose review was 3 sentences long...XD...thank you! XD..I'm glad to hear that...XD...detailed was what I was aiming for...it took me a whole hour to edit this trying to add more descriptive and unique words into the story...XD..new chapter coming very soon...XD (Editor's Note: A "whole hour" is nothing.)_

_miano53: Yup...and its gonna much more sadder….'more sadder'...is that even correct grammar? O_o… (Editor's Note: No.)_

_Therius: Yay! I'm definitely gonna update this very very soon...XD_

_Mikasa sukasa: I was kinda too lazy to specifying what Jenova was saying...XD...but...sure...I'll start doing that later when its needed...XD_

_xxfeichixx: Great! XD...I was hoping that people would like a plot like this...XD. I will definitely keep writing...but yeah...I'm gonna be pretty busy this year...so...we shall see how often i update...XD. I won't forget to take care of myself. I've already promised people to._

* * *

_Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII...T^T_

_Just to troll my editor. WROTED SENTENCE BAD I! ME GRAMMMERED BADLY! XD (Editor's Note: Fuck you.) (((Byaku's Note: No, no, be nice children.))) (Penguin's Note: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.) ((Paiko: *innocently scoots away*))  
_

_Well...special thanks to my editor, Lord Sham...ugh...okay...i'll just copy and paste the name...Lord Shambooboo Penguinhead IV for editing the first...one third...of this ridiculously long and grammar-mistakes-filled chapter...XD_

_Byaku(aka Editor#2): And dear Paiko fired him. So now I'm here. Hi. I'm Byaku. (Byakusharinnegan). Please don't hurt me. _

_Penguin (Editor #1): What can I say? I'm busy. *shrugs*_

_Paiko(author): yeah..i understand that penguin...so thats why ill stop bothering you to edit and get someone else with more time so i wont be wasting your time and stuffu...XD_

_Okay...this part below here looks hecka confusing. One parentheses is Editor #1(who got fired). Two parenthesis is me(Paiko the author). Three parenthesis is Editor #2(Byaku)._

_(Editor's Note: "grammar-mistakes-filled" in and of itself is a grammar mistake. Also, how is it that you're too lazy to type my full name yet you can write a 9,000 word chapter and just toss it to me?)_

_((...good question…...cus copying and pasting is just so much easier….XD))_

_(Simply not editing this grammatical train-wreck would have been so much easier...)_

_((crapple...i suck at arguments like this…*tableflip* but u will edit it cus leaving this chapter with so many grammar errors will never please u since u know that somewhere out there, there will be this mistake filled fanfic that u could have fixed...XD))_

_(Hey, it's your fic. Not mine. I'd much rather just point and laugh.)_

_((T^T...i hate u))_

_(Look, who is relying on whom to make their fic grammatically acceptable?)_

_((*table flip*))_

_(Cool. Now I'll stop being a pretentious asshat and wasting your readers' time. Bye.)_

_(((I'm stuck with three parentheses, whoop de doo. Aaand I saw the word vomit. Ugh.)))_

_((have fun editing. XP *i am a cruel person*))_

* * *

Kadaj continues leaning over the side of the bed, gagging and choking as if he was still throwing up even though he had already long regurgitated all that was left in his stomach. His insides twist and churn, trying to spew out more revolting vomit. As he clutches his stomach in pain, he draws in shaky gasps of air to calm his shivering body. Kadaj squeezes his eyes shut, not wanting to look at the disgusting mess on the floor he had made and the disturbing sight of his own repulsive body, destroyed and defaced by the explosion. Just the thought of his damaged body made his stomach churn once more, sending another wave of nausea crawling up his throat.

This couldn't be him. Kadaj remembers vividly the smooth skin he had before the explosion. He was supposed to be flawless, created to be that glorious dark person that would forever leave a permanent mark on the memories of those he met. He wasn't supposed to look like this, like trash that was looked down upon with disgust and shoved aside.

A soothing hand rubbing his back pulls Kadaj out of his thoughts and back to the present moment. He glances up briefly to spot Tifa with a concerned gaze, watching him as she tries to calm his unsettled insides.

"Deep breaths." Tifa murmurs quietly in a way that relaxes Kadaj's tense body.

Kadaj complies, his ragged gasping slowly becoming small_, _short pants for breath. His body shakes, feeling as if he was going to throw up once again.

"I'll go clean up...the mess…" Cloud adds hesitantly, eyeing the mess Kadaj had made beside the bed.

Kadaj's thoughts move to the hand on his bare back, attempting to calm him. How could Tifa manage to look, much less touch, his body, a revolting piece of trash that he himself could hardly get himself to look at. And yet, there was Tifa, who was willing to touch and comfort this ugliness that he would never be able to hide, even as he gently swings his hair to cover the scarred right half of his face in order to try and hide the horror it had become.

He shrugs away Tifa's soft hands, wanting them gone even though he had loved how the touch soothed him. It is then that he realizes that when he had lifted himself up earlier to throw up over the side of the bed, the blankets that were covering his body had slipped down a bit, revealing the rest of his naked, deformed body. Kadaj probably won't have cared much if it wasn't for the scars.

Flopping back down onto the pillows, he weakly draws the blanket back up, covering most of his skin, hiding the sickening wounds and scars from sight. Kadaj closes his eyes and wishes that he could just go to sleep and wake up from this nightmare. But this isn't a nightmare. It is reality, a cruel, twisted reality.

A hand lands on his shoulder moments later, wanting his attention. However, Kadaj decides to stay still, refusing to even crack open an eye to acknowledge the hand. All he wants to do right now is sleep and be left alone.

"Kadaj...please. I know you're awake." A voice which Kadaj recognizes as Tifa's speaks quietly. "You can go ahead and keep ignoring me_,_ but I'm gonna give you some medicine to drink now. No spitting it out. You must drink it all." Tifa finishes with a stern tone.

Kadaj lets out a small sigh, wanting it to sound exasperated_; _to his annoyance, it comes out sounding more tired and choked instead. It makes him sound weak, which he shouldn't be. Weakness is not a thing he wishes to show.

He eyes the cup in Tifa's hands warily, the dull brownish-red colour causing his insides to twist and turn at the sight of it. It looks revolting and probably tastes just as bad as it looks.

Tifa can easily read the disgusted look on Kadaj's face_, _letting out a sigh. "Don't act like a little kid and throw a fuss. You're not, so act your age already. It's for your own good."

Kadaj frowns, staring at the strange liquid and wondering if he should drink it. They might be poisoning him. But if they wanted him dead, they would have done that long ago. Why would they poison him now instead of killing him as he was unconscious?

Groaning slightly in frustration, Kadaj parts his lips, letting the foul tasting liquids trickle into his mouth and down his throat. Each swallow releases a burning pain as the liquid rushes past his dry, pain_ed_ throat. He wants to spit it all out...but Tifa had told him not to. So he obeys, much to his dislike.

As soon as all the vile medicine has been swallowed, Kadaj grimaces slightly. The bitter taste of it is still left in his mouth_;_ he finds that taste terribly unpleasant_._

"Wa...ter…" Kadaj manages to rasp out, using his voice for the first time since he had woken up. The sound of his current voice is so unlike his original voice. It is quiet, barely audible, and sounds very forced out through his aching throat. Even worse is the coughing fit he falls into as soon as the word leaves.

Fortunately, the cup that held the foul medicine earlier is now filled with clear water, the sight of which was already refreshing to his body. Tifa holds Kadaj's head up and slowly lets the water trickle into his mouth, much like what she did with the medicine but much better tasting and refreshing this time. He drinks greedily, moaning softly as the water moistens his cracked dry lips and soothes his painful throat, making it easier to take in air.

"Take it easy." Tifa scolds upon noticing the huge gulps of water Kadaj was taking. "You're going to choke at this rate."

Kadaj ignores her, drinking until the cup is empty. Tifa sighs, allowing Kadaj to rest his head back onto the pillow. Feeling relaxed and in slightly less pain, Kadaj closes his eyes, a drowsy feeling invading his mind. In a few seconds, he is fast asleep, oblivious to any action going on around him.

…

Kadaj blinks, opening his eyes slightly to see grey clouds hovering in the dark sky above him. The cloud's giant form obscures the sun's rays, leaving the place where he lay dark and eerie looking. Groaning, he sits up, immediately recognizing this place. The cold stone floor beneath him is all too familiar. He'd been here, not long ago, right before the explosion occurred that had scarred his body forever. His brothers had not been too far away while Cloud had stood right by him with a fatal bullet wound. But none of them were here at this moment.

"How…" Kadaj gasps as he stands up in shock. "...the hell did I get here?!"

That's when he notices that his voice is no longer scratchy without use. It is clear and strong, like how it was before, but with confusion laced within the voice. It had only been maybe a week since the explosion, but to him, that seems like centuries ago. His strength is also back within him, the weakness no longer lingering in his body. It is like being back in the past. Kadaj feels powerful once more as he turns his neck to look around the area, an action that had taken so much energy and pain to do so earlier.

Suddenly fearful, Kadaj wonders if his body is still riddled with scars as it was supposed to be. He doesn't want to check, scared that he will still be full of those scars, the look of which constantly nauseates him. Hesitantly, he pushes the sleeve of his leather clothing up, instantly noticing that the scars _a_re now gone. A wave of absolute joy and relief sweeps him, only to be followed by confusion soon after.

"How is this possible…?" Kadaj whispers into the empty area.

To his surprise, a voice from somewhere above him answers that question. "That's because this isn't real. It's only in your dreams...or should I say...nightmares." The voice purrs in a way that made Kadaj realize exactly who it is immediately. That cold, deep voice, filled with dark humour and cruelty that mocks everyone else belongs to someone very closely related to him. In fact, Kadaj was a part of that man.

"Sephiroth…" Kadaj murmurs quietly to himself as he turns to gaze up from where the voice came from.

Standing atop of large stone stood the figure of the man Kadaj had always looked up to. One black wing protrudes from the man's back, arching back menacingly in a way that makes him seem beautiful yet terrifying at the same time. Wind blows that shiny, silky silver hair everywhere, making each strand dance and shine in the nonexistent rays of sunshine. There is that same wicked smile on Sephiroth's face as when he had taken over Kadaj's body and soul. Masamune gleams dangerously in his hands, ready for its next victim.

Kadaj stands there, quaking in both fear and awe at the powerful looking man. Even though Sephiroth is standing quite far away, the dark and unconquerable aura of him still manages to reach Kadaj, its invisible tendrons creeping around Kadaj's body, choking him with its power.

Before Kadaj can even react, Sephiroth is right beside him, his one wing wrapping around both of them as if he is protecting his prey from other predators. Kadaj urges his body to move but he stands rooted there, unable to take his eyes away from Sephiroth's eyes, an exact replica of his. No. Correction. His own eyes were a replica of Sephiroth's.

"This is a nightmare." Sephiroth repeats, his voice low and amused.

"Don't worry, my little remnant. You'll wake up with those scars once more."

Kadaj chokes back a sob of disappointment. He was really hoping that those scars would be no more. But it's not going to happen anytime soon.

"What am I doing here then?" Kadaj mumbles, suddenly feeling a wave of dread creep up his spine.

Sephiroth merely grins, cupping Kadaj's chin in his hands as he looms ever closer to the small remnant, filling his gaze with only the other's eyes. "Mother isn't pleased with you. You failed her. You have disappointed her."

Kadaj sinks down to his knees, very fearful of what is to come. "M...mother...I'm sorry. I won't fail you again. Give me another chance. I won't fail you ever again!" he pleads, shouting to the sky. All around him, his mother's presence makes the air heavy with anger and disappointment.

Kadaj remembers that moments ago, he had been doubting his mother, wondering if she really did care for him. Jenova was probably using him in the first place. Then why is he on the floor, begging to be forgiven. Maybe it was that spark of hope within his soul that said that maybe if he made his mother proud, then perhaps she would care and love him like how a real mother should be. Even if that possibility was very small, it is still better than not trying and having no one by his side to sooth and comfort him. Sure he had had his brothers, but now he was really doubts that they are still alive.

"Please! I promise I won't ever fail you again!" Kadaj sobs, finding desperate tears pouring out of his eyes.

Sephiroth grabs Kadaj by the hair, dragging him up onto his feet so he is once again staring into Sephiroth's unforgiving eyes.

"Mother tells me that she is willing to give you another chance at this. You better not fail her again. You do realize what she can do to your pitiful existence if you fail, right?"

Sephiroth grins, finding the way Kadaj writhes around in his grip, trying to rid himself of the pain on his head as Sephiroth clenches his fist tighter, highly amusing.

"Y...yes, mother! I assure you I won't fail again." Kadaj cries out, wishing for the feeling that his hair might be pulled off his scalp to go away. But he couldn't help but feel relief. This could be his chance to please his mother.

"But mother still needs to punish you for your previous failure." Sephiroth purrs, yanking on the silver hair entwined with his fingers, making Kadaj scream in pain. "She will not let you go on without punishments for your failures."

Kadaj freezes, knowing very well that his punishment isn't going to be light. He doesn't look forward to the pain it will cause; he knows it will be much more painful than simple hair pulling. "Please. Mother! Don't! I won't fail this time! I...I've learned my lesson. Please please please please…"

The grip on Kadaj's hair disappears, only for it to reappear on his neck, cutting off his next words. Sephiroth snarls, glaring dangerously at him. "Silence! Do you dare question mother's will?"

Kadaj shakes his head weakly in Sephiroth's strong grip, gasping desperately for the air he couldn't get into his lungs. He finds himself dangling a foot above the floor, his legs flailing about wildly, looking for a surface where they could feel reassured. He finds himself desperately clawing at the hand at his neck as a reflex, unable to break the grip of Sephiroth. The hand squeezes tighter, refusing to let any more air to pass through Kadaj's throat. His lungs burn, begging for oxygen, as his body grows weaker with each passing second.

The image of Sephiroth in front of him flickers suddenly, disappearing and reappearing even though the grip stayed firm. Kadaj isn't sure if it is real or if it is his oxygen-deprived brain fooling around with him.

Sephiroth scowls. "It looks like you are waking up. That's a shame. I wasn't done with you yet. No worries. We will continue next time, my little remnant."

A cruel, harsh laugh echoes through his mind as the whole area disappears, only for the sight of the ceiling of a room appear as soon as he jerks his eyes open.

He sits up rapidly, ignoring the pain the movement cause_s_, drawing in a deep breath of air, and allows his lungs to fill with oxygen once more. His ragged breathing pounds in his ear, accompanied by Sephiroth's laugh, and sends a shiver of fear down his spine. Kadaj's hands shake, clenching the blanket tightly in his grasp as he focuses on his scarred arms. He is glad to be awake but is terribly disappointed upon seeing the scars, a reminder of how he had failed Jenova.

Cloud was suddenly right next to Kadaj, studying his face with genuine concern written all over his face. "Kadaj! What's wrong? You look so pale..."

Kadaj barely hears Cloud's words, his eyes now completely unfocused and darting around the room, seemingly fearful of some invisible force. A small whimper escapes his lips as he cowers in fear. He doesn't even notice that Cloud is by him until a soft, warm hand lands on his shoulder, startling him as Kadaj screams, jerking away from the hand with such force that he tumbles off the bed and onto the wooden floor.

Cloud is immediately besides him, helping him up as Kadaj whimpers softly, tears of pain and fear dripping down his face. It was difficult getting Kadaj back onto the bed since the hurt remnant was in so much pain and was sobbing uncontrollably at this moment. It doesn't help that Kadaj doesn't want Cloud touching his scarred body and the fact that Kadaj has no clothes on save the blanket that he had pulled onto the floor with him. Ten minutes later, Kadaj is sitting back on the bed, his face buried into Cloud's soft shirt, wetting it with sad tears.

Cloud awkwardly pats Kadaj's back, trying to calm him down a bit. It is a bit uncomfortable for both of them. Kadaj had tried to kill Cloud before and being so close to his murderer makes Cloud feel wary and cautious. But as Kadaj relaxes and starts crying against him, all suspicious dissipates into the air and all that is left is to comfort this small, pale young boy in his arms. Kadaj, on the other hand, had flinched at Cloud's contact but upon realizing that he wasn't trying to hurt him and rather was trying to comfort him, he had gladly lets the man hold him as he let the tears and emotions flow out.

Letting out a desperate cry of despair, Kadaj realizes that the man that is giving him comfort is now the man his mother wants him to kill. It is heartbreaking to have to destroy such a soothing touch, but it is what Jenova wants. If he was to have Jenova's love, then he would have to kill Cloud. Kadaj lets out a small breath when he finally persuades his mind that he was too weak to kill Cloud now. Instead, it would be best to relax in the comforting arms now and pretend that he is never going to plan a attack. He manages to convince himself that this was all to gain their trust rather than enjoying the comfort it came with.

Kadaj's sobbing quiets down to small sniffles at random intervals as he continues to cling onto Cloud's figure. He is less on edge now, his heart no longer beating rapidly as if it is going to burst out of his chest.

"What happened?" Cloud murmurs softly, cradling Kadaj's head to his chest.

Kadaj hesitates, his body stiffening as he wonders if it is a wise idea to answer.

Upon noticing his hesitation, Cloud starts to stroke the young remnant's hair softly, running his fingers through the still silky hair. But he freezes suddenly, his hand removing itself from the soft hair as Kadaj flinches violently from the touch.

Kadaj could still remember the feel of Sephiroth's hand in his hair, tugging and grasping as he squirmed in pain under the fist. His scalp still hurts from that moment, even though it was just a dream. Then he notices that Cloud was staring at his neck, a confused and bewildered look in his eyes.

"Kadaj...where did you get these bruises from?" Cloud asks hesitantly, his gaze still on his neck.

Kadaj's blood suddenly stops, unable to believe the undeniable fact. But yet he still manages to rasp out a 'where?' even though he already knew the answer.

"There...on your neck…" Cloud raises his hand to let his fingers trace the bruises gently, making sure not to hurt Kadaj.

Kadaj starts shaking, fear once again rising as he continues wishing that what had happened as he slept was really just a dream. The bruises on his neck were from his nightmare, when Sephiroth's hand, which had also grabbed his hair roughly, had squeezed his throat, almost strangling him to death. The panic that had left him moments before returns with a greater ferocity. Screaming, Kadaj jerks away from Cloud's hand at his throat, tangling himself in the blankets.

"What happened? You need to tell me…" Cloud urges, stepping back a bit from the sudden violent outburst. "Kadaj. Please. We're here to help you."

Tifa bursts into the room, followed by two little kids, upon hearing the scream from the room. "What's going on in here?!"

Cloud rushes over to Tifa and the two of them start conversing in low voices, glancing up at Kadaj once in a while. Moments later, they approach Kadaj cautiously, trying not to scare the terrified remnant even more than he already was.

"Kadaj, do you want to tell us what happened?" Tifa asks gently, after Kadaj calms down a bit.

Clutching the blanket tightly within his fist, Kadaj shakes his head stiffly as he avoids their gaze. He feels the urge to tell them and then curl up in their arms as they listened and comforted him. But he doesn't, afraid that he'll let something slip and completely sabotage all possibilities of having his mother love him.

Cloud sits down on the bed next to Kadaj, making the bed squeak with protest of having two people on it. His arm wraps around the remnant's shoulder, pulling him closer to his own body and warmth. "We're here to help you…"

Kadaj hesitates a bit more before rasping out, "Nightmare…" He silently cursed himself for having let that slip and bites his lips to prevent him from saying any more.

"Do you want to talk about the nightmare? It often helps." Cloud murmurs soothingly, making Kadaj almost want to tell them all about it.

But he doesn't. Clenching his teeth, Kadaj shakes his head and shrinks away from Cloud's touch, wanting to be left alone already.

"What about those bruises on your neck?" Cloud continues.

Scowling now, Kadaj glares at Cloud, immediately preventing any further questions. He doesn't want to talk about the nightmare anymore. All he wants to do is make it disappear rather than go through the terrifying memories again.

Cloud hesitantly backs away from Kadaj, taking Tifa's arm and pulling her out of the room to talk for a bit, leaving the two little kids who had followed Tifa in to be left in the room with Kadaj.

Warily, Kadaj looks at the two children, recognizing both of them easily. The girl is the one that Loz had brought back with him after discovering the materia in the church. She had been terrified of him, hiding behind the larger remnant's leg as Kadaj had studied her intently. She had looked so sweet and innocent that he could hardly keep himself from scaring her a bit by almost sending a tree crashing atop of her. The way her eyes were filled with fear thrilled him, sending tingling excitement coursing through his body. But now, the fear is gone, only to be replaced by curiosity upon knowing that Kadaj couldn't hurt her in the state he was in now.

The boy had been one of the children infected with the stigma. Of course, the stigma had long been healed thanks to the healing rain and water. But seeing that child makes Kadaj miss his own brothers ever more. He has no hope that they were alive anymore, enlarging that pain of loneliness within him. The small child stands behind the girl hesitantly, seemingly still afraid of Kadaj.

Kadaj looks away from them, refusing to make eye contact. It only brings back memories of the past which he longs to return to. Unfortunately, the girl takes the boy's hand and pulls him towards the remnant. Kadaj looks away, hoping that they would understand that he didn't want to see them, but being the little kids they were, the two children end up climbing onto the bed, forcing Kadaj to look at them.

"I'm Marlene." the girl pipes up. "You don't seem so scary anymore without that evil smile on your face and that look of 'I'm better than you'."

Kadaj scowls, ignoring that comment and trying to look anywhere else other than at her. But eventually, after Marlene's constant moving around to get his eye contact, Kadaj gives up with a sigh and looks directly at Marlene, with an annoyed expression on his face. Marlene grins, glad to have caught his attention at last.

"What do you want?" Kadaj says with an attempted snarl, but his scratchy and raspy voice makes him seem weak and tired instead. Groaning, he draws his knees up to his shoulders and wraps tired and hurt arms around them while burying his head within his arms.

Marlene bounces up and down on the bed, excited to have the silent remnant finally speak. Kadaj winces, each bounce sending a jolt of pain up his wrecked figure.

"Stop that..." Kadaj whispers, giving up the scary front he was trying to put up and instead lets his exhausted self show.

Marlene stops, noticing the look of pain on his face. "Oh. Oops! I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you..."

Kadaj sighs, relieved that the bouncing had stopped. Unfortunately, the girl didn't seem like she wanted to stop talking. "So what do you want from me?" This is the most he had talked since he had woken up, excluding the nightmare, and it is beginning to hurt his throat even more.

"Nuthing...you just seemed...sad…" Marlene answers quietly, gazing into Kadaj's eyes as if she could see all his fears and worries. "Right, Denzel?"

The young boy nods, hesitant to speak. "Y...yeah…"

Kadaj glances away from Marlene's eyes, fearful that she could see into his soul and figure out about the nightmare and his need to kill Cloud. "Why aren't you afraid of me? Don't you know what I've done? What I did to Denzel? And Cloud? And to everyone?"

Marlene smiles, leaning closer towards Kadaj. "Yeah. I do know. I didn't like what you did to Denzel and Cloud and everyone, but Tifa and Cloud said that they were giving you another chance. You don't seem so scary anymore. You look more like a lost puppy that needs a hug."

Kadaj's eyes widen, knowing that 'a lost puppy that needs a hug' is exactly how he feels like. "But...but don't I look like a monster with all these scars?"

Denzel, who had been silent most of the time, making it seem like he wasn't there at all, finally speaks up. "It's not how you look that makes you a monster. It's your heart and I don't think you are the monster you think you are..."

Kadaj sits there, his mouth opened slightly in a shocked expression, unable to form any words except for a startled 'ah'. In his whole existence, not many people had spoken kind words to him. These kind gentle words strikes true to his soul, sending a spark of hope and comfort though his body. Even though it isn't true, for his heart had long been marred with darkness to create the monster he is now, he allows himself to believe that maybe that was the case.

A small smile creeps onto his face unlike those cruel smirks he had before the explosion. Instead it was a soft smile, full of genuine relief and calmness. His eyes relaxes, letting his gaze take in both the two children with respect. For some reason, children tend to be really smart, innocently speaking what they really thought unlike teens and adults who lie and hide most of their opinions. And often, those words spoken by children always seemed to be cutely funny or so unknowingly smart.

That smile disappears as fast as it appears, a scowl replacing that relaxed look. Kadaj glares at the two kids on the bed. "Leave me alone!"

Their eyes widen in shock at the sudden change of mood, leaving them far too startled to follow the command. It isn't until Tifa and Cloud open the door, entering the room once more that Marlene and Denzel scramble off the bed and rush towards the two older ones.

"What were you doing on the bed?" Tifa asks quietly as she kneels down to match the two children's height, slightly startled and surprised to have seen them there.

Marlene shuffles her foot, looking very guilty. "W...we just wanted to talk with him…"

Tifa smiles, an amused look on her face now as she glances up at Kadaj. Kadaj is still glaring darkly at them, but is unable to hide that exhausted look from talking and moving around so much.

"I don't think you two should bother Kadaj for now. He needs his rest." Tifa laughs softly, ruffling their hair slightly. "Why don't you two go outside and get some fresh air a bit and give Kadaj a break."

Marlene and Denzel nod and moments later they were shooting out the front door and out into the roads.

"Stay safe!" Tifa shouts after them before turning her attention on Kadaj. Her face darkens as she slowly walks towards the bed, the room suddenly becoming very stuffy and the air tense. "As for you...You better not hurt the kids. Ever. If you do, I will not hesitate to murder you on the spot."

Cloud rests his hand on Tifa's shoulder, silencing her from saying anything else but her threatening glare continued to stay on Kadaj.

"That's enough, Tifa. I don't think he'll hurt them." Cloud mumbles softly.

Tifa doesn't say anything for a while, only glaring at Kadaj with that angry gaze until she finally sighs. "Fine. But if he does…"

Cloud nods. "That's better."

Kadaj stares at the wall, silent and unmoving. He knows that they probably wanted to know about his nightmare but that was the number one thing he doesn't wish to share at this moment. The thought of it already sends shudders down his spine, making him dread the next time he would fall asleep. However, a small, minuscule part of him wishes to return to that world, a world where he could be within his mother's presence, making him feel ever closer to the love Kadaj had always wanted. It is a world where he felt within grasp of his hopes, a world where his scars, the evidence from his failure, no longer existed. Even though it is a fearful world, it is a place where he feels some form of comfort.

He wouldn't tell Tifa nor Cloud about the nightmare, no matter how much the pushed him to tell. Kadaj would wait, pretending to change and let them comfort him. When he heals and when he gets stronger, he would wait for the perfect moment when they were least expecting anything. That is when he would strike. And then finally that is when he could gain his mother's love and trust.

"Kadaj. I know you still want to kill me." Cloud says suddenly, interrupting all thoughts Kadaj had about waiting for the perfect moment to kill.

Kadaj jumps in surprise, almost falling off the bed again. How had Cloud known what he was thinking about? Did he say something out loud? Could he read minds or something? No. If Cloud could read minds, then he wouldn't have needed to ask about the nightmare since that thought had been flooding Kadaj's mind since he woke up from it. Is it really that obvious that he was planning to kill Cloud?

Kadaj gazes up at Cloud, his mouth wide open in shock and disbelief, still unable to figure out how he had known about it. "H...How...d.." he stutters, unable to get a full sentence out of his mouth.

Cloud frowns, a look of disappointment on his face. "I thought so…"

Tifa glares at Kadaj, her lips drawn in a thin line. "I told you that giving him a second chance was a terrible idea. I say we kill him already before he can kill you, Cloud." Tifa steps towards Kadaj, her fists balled and ready to strike.

Kadaj cowers from Tifa's death glare, hiding beneath his blankets as if that was enough to protect him from her. Shaking in fear, he realizes that this might be the end to his chances to gain Jenova's love. If Tifa kills him right here, he would fail his mother, no longer able to please her any further. A whimper of hopelessness escapes his lips followed by hot burning tears forming at the bottom of his eye. Blinking rapidly, he wishes for the tears to go away. He can't afford to look weak now.

Moments later, Kadaj notices that the onslaught of deadly punches never came, leaving a strange silence to envelope the room. Cautiously, he pulls the blanket away from his face, looking up with a scared look in his eyes.

Tifa is standing not far from him, her fists still in the air but no longer swinging towards Kadaj's body. Cloud has her arms tightly in his grasp, preventing her from doing anything to the terrified remnant. Glaring slightly at Cloud, she relaxes her tense body, returning her arms to her side.

"I believe he can change." Cloud murmurs softly, trying to relieve the tense atmosphere built up within the room.

Tifa bristles once again. "How can you be so sure?"

Cloud puts his hand on her shoulder now, trying to tell her to calm down a bit. "I just know he can. I know he really doesn't want to do it."

Kadaj clenches his teeth. They are all wrong. He wants Cloud dead. Right? But deep within his mind, Cloud's words had stirred up some sort of doubt about what he wanted to do. Would killing Cloud really earn his mother's love? Or was it all for nothing? Kadaj mentally scolds himself for thinking such thoughts. Doubting his mother is a terrible thing to do. But that minuscule doubt stays at the back of his mind, unable to be satisfied like a scratch you couldn't reach.

"What if he doesn't change? What if he kills you!?" Tifa shouts, interrupting the flow of doubt in Kadaj's mind.

Cloud shrugs. "Then I guess you can say 'I told you so'."

Tifa could only watch with her mouth wide open in disbelief and anger as Cloud turns around and heads out the door. Sending one last glare at Kadaj, she walks out after Cloud, leaving Kadaj alone to go back into this thoughts, his doubts growing stronger with each moment.

He will have to go to sleep soon. Sleep is inevitable, and along with that, a nightmare he is dreading where his punishment would be waiting…

* * *

Yazoo sighs, brushing his blood stained hair out of his eyes as he gazes out towards that large expanse of dirt and rock. The sun is high in the air, threatening to roast them in their thick black leather clothing. His whole body aches, wounded and hurt all over the place. And even worse, he has no memory of how he got here, no knowledge of his life before he ended up here. The only things he knows about his life are the things Loz had tells him.

Loz sits besides Yazoo, still trying to get his legs to work but constantly failing. He had always done what Kadaj and Yazoo had wanted, becoming very dependent on his two brothers. However, without Kadaj here and Yazoo's memory gone, he just feels lost without anyone to guide him towards safety.

Squinting as he raises his arms to block the sun's glare from his eyes, Yazoo scans the horizon, looking for maybe some sort of civilization or something of that sort. A sudden shout from Yazoo manages to startle the other remnant, jerking Loz out of his thoughts.

"What is it, Yazoo?" Loz asks, curious to see what he was so excited about.

Yazoo points ahead of him, a relieved and excited look on his face as he sort of bounces up and down on his feet, unable to keep still at what he found. This was definitely not the Yazoo that Loz had remembered."Look. Way over there. Do you see it?"

Loz frowns, looking towards where Yazoo is pointing, trying to spot the object that was making the other so animated. "I don't see anything...what is it that you see?

"Over there, right at the spot where the ground meets the sky...you see that shimmering bit?"

Loz squints as he tries to locate this sparkling object that his brother just mentioned. However, all he sees is just rocks and dirt, with nothing special in sight. Licking his dry and parched lips, Loz sighs, rubbing his tired eyes with his hands as he tries once again to spot the thing Yazoo was seeing.

"I still dun see it, Yaz." Loz complains, trying to push himself higher off the ground to get a better view from several inches higher.

Yazoo freezes, confused at being called 'Yaz'. For all he knew, his name was Yazoo and the one who claimed he is his brother, not that he doubted him, is called Loz. And his other brother, which he has zero memory of, is called Kadaj. Yazoo tries to conjure up some mental image of this Kadaj but only a blurry outline of a typical person comes up, the same outline that he imagined everyone he didn't know as. But out of all the people he knew the names of, there was no one named 'Yaz'.

Loz blinks, looking up at the baffled look on his brother's face. "What's wrong?"

With his forehead furrowed in confusion, Yazoo stares at Loz. "Who's 'Yaz'?"

Suddenly feeling very sad and alone again, Loz looks away from the standing remnant as he starts tracing scribbles in the dirt. He didn't even know that he had accidentally called Yazoo that. It had just been so common for him to refer to Yazoo as 'Yaz' that it hadn't even crossed his mind that Yazoo wouldn't remember that nickname.

"Yaz...that's you...short for Yazoo…" Loz whispers, a hint of longing for the past in his voice.

Yazoo stares for a moment longer before it finally struck him, his mouth forming into a silent 'o'. "I...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I...uh..." He suddenly trails off upon noticing that his brother was shaking uncontrollably on the ground. "Uh...hey...umm.."

Yazoo stammers, wondering if he had hurt Loz's feelings, and even more uncertain in using Loz's name in his sentences, fearing that it would come out sounding awkward and strange, hurting his brother's feelings even more.

It wasn't until Yazoo steps closer to Loz that he realizes that he was shaking not from crying but from laughing. Bewildered, Yazoo stays where he is in his half step towards Loz with his head tilted sideways in confusion. Loz gasps, struggling to keep in the fits of laughter that were now wracking his body.

Yazoo blinks, not knowing how to react to this sudden display of emotion. "W...wha..?"

Loz's laughter eventually subsides to short little chuckles, enough so that he could speak. "Yazoo...you've never apologized to me...ever...nor to anyone else except to Kadaj and mother. To others, you've only scowled and shrugged the mistake away as if it never happened, but you've never ever _ever_ apologized. It's just so strange to hear one from you…"

Yazoo couldn't help but grin a bit at the explanation for the breakdown of laughs. It is such a small thing to laugh at, small enough that it is stupidly silly. He forces himself to turn his face into a countenance of a stern and unfeeling man. "Then I take that apology back. You can stop your annoying laughter now and shut up while you're at it."

Loz stares, startled by the sudden change of emotion, also hurt at the acidity of Yazoo's word. However, there was a bit of relief to see and hear the old Yazoo he once knew again. It is as if nothing has changed. But things have changed, and there is no going back to the past to change it all. Loz sighs, hurt by Yazoo's words, and turns to avoid his brother's cold glare.

"Oh crap." a sudden exclamation of horror makes Loz jerk his head up to look at his brother. "Did you really think I was being serious there?" Yazoo continues, kneeling down besides Loz, surprise and concern written all over his face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that at all."

Loz slowly breaks into a smile, realizing that Yazoo has just apologized for something again, and on top of that, tried to joke around with him. Forget the old Yazoo now, this Yazoo is much nicer and better, one that Loz actually liked. With an overjoyed grin on his face, Loz throws his arms over Yazoo's shoulders, pulling the other into a tight hug.

Yazoo stays frozen still, not sure how to react to this sudden act of affection that was squeezing the life out of him, and wincing as the hug hurt his wounded body. "Ah...too...tight…"

Loz blinks, puzzled until he realizes how tight his powerful grip was on his brother, instantly releasing Yazoo as soon as he realized. "Oops." He dips his head in shame. "Sorry…"

Yazoo manages a weak smile as he relaxes his almost crushed bones. "It's alright." Standing up, he looks back at the shimmering thing in the distant, relieved that it was still there for them to find."Water...I think there's water way over there."

Loz perks up at the sound of the word 'water', already imagining the sweet cool refreshing water in his mouth already. But just as rapidly as how he got excited, his spirits fall once he realizes that his legs are still not going to work. "How are we gonna get there?"

Yazoo frowns, staring at Loz's immovable legs for a while before crouching down an draping one of Loz's arm over his shoulder. "I guess I'll have to help you over there."

Gritting his teeth in concentration, the long haired remnant struggles to get back up on his feet, his legs buckling under the heavy weight of his brother. Finally, he lets out a gasp of triumph as he stands up, supporting the weight of Loz.

"Why couldn't you be lighter!" Yazoo groans, sweat already trickling down his forehead as he takes one step forward towards that possibility of water.

Loz grins a bit, as he tries to shift around to disperse the weight a bit more evenly between the both of them. "Hey. Ya can't blame me for that!"

Yazoo lifts his head and lets out a laugh, extremely loud in this quiet expanse of nothingness. "I guess not."

As he struggles with each step forward, the heavy silence between the two of them seems even more deadly than the sun that is threatening to dry them up like a raisin.

"So...uh...tell me more about...me...and what happened before...you know." Yazoo mumbles, hesitant on his choice of words.

Loz grins, eager to tell about their short existence, hoping that it might trigger something that would open the door to the rest of Yazoo's memory. "Alright! Uhm...how should I start?"

"From the very beginning."

"Okay. Well, we were...I wouldn't say born...created in the North Crater. It's strange to think that we were only created like a week ago. But, anyways, we were created with the knowledge of who we were and what we were supposed to do. We are Remnants of Sephiroth with the job to find Jenova for the Reunion. And then-"

Yazoo sighs, cutting Loz off. "Can you please explain who Sephiroth is? And Jenova? And what is this 'Reunion' you speak of?"

Loz groans upon remembering that Yazoo doesn't know any of that either. "This is gonna be difficult to explain. Jenova is our mother, who came from somewhere out there to this planet, to use it as a vessel to travel to other planets. Sephiroth is like our oldest brother. Sort of. We were created from him. He is also like mother's perfect son. The Reunion is when we return mother's cell to her body, allowing Sephiroth to be reborn and finally completing mother's goal of using this planet as her vessel to travel through the skies."

Yazoo blinks, struggling to take all this information in. None of those names, those foreign words, seemed familiar to him in any way. To make things worse, Loz tends to explain things as if the other already knew the basics to it all when he really didn't.

"Uhm...alright." Yazoo grunts, that sparkling chance of water in the distance still seemingly indefinitely far away. "Continue."

"Okay. Then we bumped into these guys immediately. They were Turks working for the Shinra Company. We captured two of those Turks and then tortured them for information. But that didn't do much except get our hands dirty with blood." Loz pauses, frowning as he gazes at his hand as if it was still covered with blood from that. "So we thought older brother, Cloud, had mother. Turns out he didn't but I did find a bunch of materia and a little girl. I still feel bad for making her cry and taking her away from home. She looked so helpless but Kadaj had wanted her…" Loz pauses again, sniffling as he pities the girl, wishing that he hadn't done that to her. "But she got away...though I also wish she had stayed...so I had someone to play with. Anyways, you were off to get kids who were infected with the geostigma so Kadaj could turn them into our little brothers and sisters..."

Yazoo mentally groans, as Loz continues rambling on about his past, seemingly completely foreign to him, like it was someone else's life. The disabled remnant had already lost Yazoo ever since he mentioned stuff like Turks, Shinra, Cloud, and materia without much explanation on what those were. For all he knows, those Turks Loz was talking about could have been talking turkeys or people from Turkey. But he still lets Loz speak, pretending to understand and nod at whenever it was appropriate to do so.

It is rather relaxing to listen to the voice of his brother, constantly rising in pitch and speed whenever he gets excited in a part of his long narrative. His face lights up too, brimming with joy at the happy memories it brought. But soon, Loz's voice gets quieter and softer, filling with a forlorn tone as he gets closer and closer to the part on how they had ended up out here with one of them unable to walk and the other with no memory. Yazoo doesn't exactly know when or how that happened, but he can easily tell from Loz's voice that that part was nearing in the long story and that it definitely didn't end well.

"That's enough." Yazoo whispers, unable and unwilling to face that part just yet.

Loz gladly quiets down, not wanting to go through the memories of that either.

Another long awkward silence befalls them, both of them unsure on what to say to each other. To Loz, this new Yazoo is sort of like a stranger, unknown and so unlike the old Yazoo he knew, that it seems like it isn't his strict brother at all.

To Yazoo, Loz is a stranger, having no memory of anyone or anything, it is as if he is meeting him for the first time, only to have Loz know more about him than he knows about himself.

"Ya know…" Loz suddenly says hesitantly, breaking that aura of tension in the dry air around them. He waits for anything from Yazoo to signal him to shut up. Not receiving any, he relaxes a bit and continues. "You used to tease me a lot. I got emotional a lot and started crying, especially if no one wanted to play with me, which often nobody did want to. Then you would look at me with a smirk and say 'Don't cry, Loz'. You made fun of my tendency to cry, always saying that it was weakness to be overly emotional about stuff. On the other hand, you were so cold and uncaring to anyone but Kadaj and mother. I admired you for that…" Sniffling a bit, Loz blinks back tears of longing for his life with the cold Yazoo and the demanding Kadaj before the explosion. Oh how he wished that was possible.

"Don't cry…" Yazoo mumbles quietly, uncertain in using that phrase. But the tone of the words are filled with tender caring, so unlike the smirking tone Yazoo had often used before. Hesitantly, he adds in a barely audible "Loz" at the end of it, using his brother's name for the first time. At least the first time he remembers.

Loz grins faintly at the sound of those familiar words, feeling comforted yet again.

"Yaz…" he whispers softly, relieved that Yazoo no longer stands confused at the sound of that nickname. "You're a good brother…"

Yazoo grins, his tired body suddenly finding strength and determination to get them both to the water. This is for the both of them. A new resolve courses through his veins. He will get them both out of this endless area of nothingness to a place where they are safe, hopefully with their other brother, Kadaj.

Maybe they could live in peace...

_A/N:...O_O….did I really write all that? It's so freaking long! SDGSJHFSJKDFHSKD! How did I do that? O_o...this is by far the longest chapter I have ever written in my entire life..even deleting the author's note parts and response to reviews... I don't think later chapters will be as long as this...a majority of this chapter focused on Kadaj...the next chapter will probably be centered more around Yazoo and Loz._

_So tell me what you think about this chapter. Review! Tell me if you like long chapters like these or would you rather prefer shorter ones? XD I won't know unless you tell me! Review! XDDDD_

_(Editor's note: Shorter ones. Please. I don't know why I agreed to do this.)_

_((I had too many ideas to fit into one chapter...oops…^^;...well..i promise the next chapter will be much shorter…))_

_(I swear, Paiko was like "CAN YOU EDIT THIS 8000 WORD THINGY FOR ME" and I was like "Meh ok". That was literally the entire verbal exchange.)_

_((XD...well...u being the grammar nazi that u are and me being the person who spelled 'grammar' as 'grammer' until like a month ago, i needed all the help in grammar i could get….*sweatdrop* XDDD))_

_(It's not called a grammar nazi, it's called speaking proper English. Also, I have no fucking clue what this is about. So yeah.)_

_((i thought rnrboss said u watched advent children already…..O_o))_

_(It was a while ago. I remember nothing except for a dude beating up a lady in a church. So that's cool. I guess.)_

_((oh….O_o...oh well...u don't needa know much to edit my grammar...XD...plus...u do realize this is ch. 2 right?))_

_(I do. But I'm too lazy to read Chapter 1.)_

_((...fine...be that way...XP…))_

_(The same can be said for your refusal to read a dictionary, thesaurus, or encyclopedia for your spelling…)_

_(((Hey, hey! I'm...here…*Canada moment*)))_

_((Yay Byaku! You got that done much faster than Penguinhead. XDDDD))_

_(((Penguin-senpai please don't hurt me)))_

_Sorry for taking...over a month to get this chapter out. Normally these won't be out so late. Thanks to this overly long chapter, notes for school (*wheeze cough die*), school itself, life, laziness, and an editor that took forever so I had to go find another one. That is why it took so long to get this done. The next chapter will be out faster(hopefully). XD. If I don't have too much note to do...which reminds me…...ive got notes due soon...I better work on them..^^;_

_Review!_


	3. Chapter 3: Red Diamond

_TIme to write another chapter. This time, I'm gonna try not to get past 5000 words…^^;...cus last chapter was waaaaaaay too long...XD. Also I hope that I can get this out faster than the last one. The ideas are floating in my brain just begging to be written down already...so..I'm gonna screw my homework(and probably end up procrastinating and doing it all at the last moment). Been so long since I wrote anything...it's good to be back and writing!_

* * *

_Mystical Authoress: I doubt Kadaj will be okay...XD...cus I'm a cruel person. XP. Just kidding. You know I like happy endings….maybe...XD_

_Frankokomando: Thanks! XD. though...you loving that Tifa wanted to 'lay the smack down on Kadaj'...i'm not sure whether thats a good thing or bad thing...O_o_

_JillianLo: Glad to update! XD. Trust is definitely something that takes time and patience. XD. But we'll see if he will end up trusting them. XP. Lol...watch me do something and make the progress Yazoo and Loz have gotten go away into the trash can...typical me. XD._

* * *

_Now off to write the actual story part! XD. This chapter will be more Yazoo and Loz focused. Time for some crazy ideas to get involved. XP_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy. Though I wish I did. If I did, Zack wouldn't have died and I would be hugging Serah all day long._

_((Byaku, since Editor 1 Penguinhead is no longer involved with this fanfic, you can take the one parenthesis instead of three...unless you want to stick with three. XD))_

* * *

Kadaj lies in bed, curled up in a way that makes him seem innocent and pitiful. He is fighting the urge of comforting sleep. However, sleep isn't so comforting when the reminder of Sephiroth is constantly clenching at his throat. His bright green eyes wander around the room, looking for anything that might keep him awake. Sunlight streams in from behind the curtains and sends dancing patterns of light on the floor. The rhythmic movement of that only pulls him closer to sleep.

A brief moment of panic wakes him up slightly, only for him to drift back to the tired calm that taunts him. It is only the matter of moments before Kadaj finally succumbs to sleep...

* * *

After many long minutes of trekking over dry dirt and rough rocks, Yazoo finally eases Loz off his numb shoulder and onto the ground besides a small pond of water. There are bits and pieces of green around this pond, signs of life within this empty nothingness. The water ripples teasingly before them, inviting them to take a drink already.

Greedily, Loz leans over and starts lapping at the water like a dog, quenching his thirst at last.

Yazoo, on the other hand, stares at the water, eyeing the miniscule molecules of dirt skeptically. He massages his shoulder, now aching with pain after the numbness fades away. At last, he gives in to his body's request for water and cautiously dips his finger into the water. Even through his leather glove, Yazoo can tell that the water is warm,

almost hot. But compared to the sweltering air around them, it is highly welcoming.

Cupping his hands, Yazoo scoops up some water and brings it to his mouth, sipping it carefully so as not to spill any of this precious water. The water tastes slightly disgusting with the dirt but is nonetheless relieving.

Loz wipes his mouth on his sleeve as he finishes drinking; the front of his clothing is splattered with water from his careless drinking. Yazoo frowns in disapproval.

"Be a bit neater would you." Yazoo sighs, gesturing at the water splashed everywhere.

Loz looks crestfallen for a moment but suddenly his face lights up again. "Hey! That's something you would have said before you lost your memory! Do you think that's a sign that you might get your memories back!?"

Yazoo shrugs as he gazes at his clouded reflection in the water. "Maybe…" To be honest, he doesn't think that his memories will return anytime soon. That comment he had just made doesn't seem like a huge deal to him. But there is no harm in hoping so.

He gazes up at the blue sky, empty with clouds and laden with heat. The sun is bright in the clear sky, only halfway there in its descent down towards the horizon.

"I'll say about three more hours until the sun sets…" Yazoo mumbles to himself. "We'll need to find some sort of shelter before night falls. We can't stay here...the temperature will drop immediately when it gets dark and we don't want to be caught out here when that happens or we'll freeze."

"But I can't walk." Loz whines as he tosses a rock into the water. "How are we gonna do that?"

Yazoo frowns as he considers his options. "Well...we can set out right now and hope we get somewhere...but who knows if we will find water again. Or we can stay here and make a shelter or something...with...uh...rocks? Or I can go myself and look around for shelter or something while you stay here and wait for me to come back. That's probably the best option we have."

Loz whimpers. "But I don't want to be alone…"

Yazoo groans in annoyance. Loz might seem like a big man who can handle himself but inside, he is only a little child.

"I'll be back for you before it gets dark." Yazoo assures him.

"Promise?"

"Yeah. I promise."

"And you won't get yourself hurt?"

"...Yeah…"

Loz sniffles. "Alright…"

Giving him a small pat of reassurance, Yazoo stands up quickly, causing his vision to go black with lightheadedness for a moment. As he lets out a grunt of frustration, a sudden image flashes within his mind.

There is a long whited haired guy standing at the top of a building, a single wing protruding from his back in dark glory. An evil smirk graces his face as he takes a step towards a cowering boy on the ground before him. The boy wears similar clothes to the ones Yazoo and Loz wears. _Kadaj._ The name blinks in Yazoo's mind briefly before vanishing again.

As rapid as the image appears, it disappears as well, taking away the scene with the towering one winged angel and the terrified boy. Yazoo finds himself staring at Loz before him instead.

"Yaz..are you okay?" Loz asks, peering at his standing brother with confusion and worry.

Yazoo nods weakly. "Y...yeah...just a bit lightheaded. That's all."

"You sure?"

"...Yeah…"

"You don't sound so sure."

Yazoo pauses, hesitant on telling Loz about that vision. As much as he wants to not keep secrets from Loz, the vision is something that thoroughly terrifies him. He doesn't want that terror to spread to Loz either. Should he tell Loz about the vision or not?

"What vision?" Loz suddenly pipes up, startling Yazoo from his thoughts.

It is only then that Yazoo realizes that he had actually mumbled out loud that last bit of his thoughts. "I...It's nothing!" Yazoo stammers out, knowing that it sounds totally unconvincing.

"No. It's not nothing!" Loz pouts indignantly.

Yazoo sighs hesitantly, knowing that Loz would not let up until he tells him about what he saw. "I...I saw two people...not here but in my mind...like a vision. One of them was a tall guy with long white hair and one black wing."

"Sephiroth…" Loz whispers in awe.

"And then there was another guy. Kadaj...I think that was him...on the floor...begging for his life or something." Yazoo continues.

"Was his hair white and shoulder length? That covers the right side of his face too?" Loz inquires.

Yazoo nods. "Yes."

"Yeah...it's Kadaj then…"

"He seemed terrified."

"Is he in trouble?"

"I don't know..."

There is a long moment of silence where neither knows what to say. A hot breeze sweeps through the area, making small ripples in the water's surface.

"Well…" Loz finally mumbles slowly. His hand dips into the water as he tries to create mini vortexes within the pond. "I think this is another sign that you'll regain your memory, Yaz."

Yazoo shrugs. "Yeah...maybe." He stares at Loz for a while longer before finally letting out a huge breath. "I better get going now. I'll see you soon…"

Slowly, he chooses a direction to go and starts walking, never looking back once in fear of losing his courage to leave that safe zone and keep his faith that Loz will be safe. With each step Yazoo takes, the further he gets and the more worried he gets as a wave of dread shadows over him like a thunder cloud. Urging himself to push that feeling away, he continues walking, knowing very well that if he doesn't find shelter of some sort, they might as well die right there.

Only fate knows what this path will hold for the both of them.

* * *

Loz sits besides the water, hugging his knees to his chest as he watches Yazoo go. It only takes the matter of minutes before Yazoo is out of sight and far away.

Every once in a while, Loz looks up at the sky and each time the sun appears closer and closer to the horizon than before.

A sudden thought makes him panicky and worried. What if Yazoo is going to leave him here since his inability to walk is hindering Yazoo's survival? What if he is never going to come back?

Whimpering, he shakes his head to rid that horrifying idea. Yazoo isn't going to ditch him. No way. Right?

"Yaz...hurry up." Loz whines to no one in particular.

Through the heavy air, only the sound of water lapping at dry rocks reach his ears. It is almost calming...until the sound of something strange and unnatural pierces the serene aura around him.

Straining his ears, Loz focuses on the sound to make sure that he is not imagining this. Much to his shock, the unmistakable sound of something man-made grows louder and soon the sight of a helicopter comes within view.

Loz frantically waves his hands in the air, screaming at the top of his lungs to attract the helicopter's attention. He is fearful that they might not hear him and pass right by him, but much to his relief and surprise, the helicopter changes its course towards him and gradually descends, the black speck in the sky now growing larger and more defined in shape.

It seems to take forever but the helicopter finally lands some distance away from him, sending a cloud of dirt and dust into the sky. Through the hazy cloud, Loz can make out the shape of the helicopter with a large red diamond on the side. Immediately, Loz recognizes this sign.

"No way…" Loz chokes out, his voice now slightly hoarse from screaming. "Shinra…?"

The shadows of two figures emerge from the dust cloud, coughing and choking as they wave away the dust from their faces.

The red haired guy pushes up his flying goggles to his forehead as he walks towards Loz, his arms flailing about with enthusiasm. "Yo! Rude! I told ya they're still alive! I win the bet! Now pay up."

Scowling, a bald guy with sunglasses, Rude, follows after him. "Once we get back I'll pay you, Reno. We have more pressing matters at hand."

Loz attempts to scoot away from them. He knows these two guys. He knows them way too well. They had fought against each other, resulting in a helicopter crashing and a bomb that basically ruined Yazoo and Loz's life.

"Hey! What's up?" Reno asks casually as he strolls up to Loz.

Loz's only response is shocked silence.

Is this rescue or is this death?

* * *

_A/N: Thank god this didn't end up as long as the last chapter...I was gonna make this longer...but...I realized that I should probably end this chapter around 2000 words or else its gonna get overly long again. ^^;._

_Please review!_

_((Is a shorter chapter better or a longer one, Byaku?))_

_(I don't care. As long as the chapter is a complete thought.)_

_((Okie! XDDD. Wait...wut do you mean by complete thought?))_

_(It covers all plot holes, and leaves no confusion.)_

_((Gotcha. XD…))_

_(Look what I found! __(__｀・__ω__・__)▄__︻┻┳═一__)_

_((I don't think that will show when i post this chapter though. XD. Wut is it though…))_

_(I think it's a gun-AUGH __ಠ_____ರೃ __My eye fell out.)_

_((I don't think that will show up either…))_

_(Is all good now. I have eyepatch. _◖_|◔◡◉|◗)_

_((thats good. i don't want you walking around with only one eye. and i don't think that will show up as well…^^;..._

_(NUUU) #messingup yourtypi^^ng) and then i mess up your typing_

_((XP. Whelp. Off to do notes now…..O_o...oh crap...notes…))_

_(I've got math and history and sadness)_

_((same…))_


	4. Chapter 4: Potatoes vs Yams

_Time for another chapter! Yay! XD. Now how should I start this...hmm...should I start with Yazoo and Loz or Kadaj first? So many ways to do this. XD. Whelp...I guess I'll just start writing first…_

_Mystical Authoress: When Reno and Rude are involved, things tend to get real crazy...XD_

_Frankokomando: Yes...short...the chapter before last chapter was too long so I kept last one short...maybe too short…^^;...well...I hope this one ends up to be a good length. XD_

_JilianLo: Things always get exciting with certain Turks around *cough Reno and Rude cough* XD_

_Therius: Reno is indeed a great character. XD. He's such a cool guy...and ridiculous. _

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy.**_

_I'm really getting slow in writing.T^T...sorry. Gomenasai minna-san._

* * *

Kadaj flinches as Sephiroth steps closer to him. His attempt in trying not to fall asleep has obviously failed. Now, he was stuck in this dream world once again, unable to escape from the shadow looming over him. Panic flickers in his green eyes that dart around as they try to find a way to escape.

This time, Kadaj is not at the top of the building. Instead, he is in a small wooden church. The walls are crumbling and rotting, full of holes and gaps where Kadaj can see outside. From the holes in the roof, rays of light trickle in and casts its brightness amongst patches of white flowers. The sweet scent of the flowers blend with the musty smell of disuse and age.

Kadaj scoots away from the one winged angel, unknowingly smushing some flowers along the way. His hands are clenched in fists as he tries to stop the from shaking. Sephiroth merely steps forward once again, his feet mercilessly stomping on the flowers to destroy them.

Sephiroth bends over and grabs Kadaj by the front of his clothing, pulling the remnant up with ease.

"You sure took your time getting here...didn't you?" Sephiroth murmurs darkly into Kadaj's ear, causing Kadaj to whimper in fear.

"I...I'm sorry…..I…" Kadaj stammers as he frantically squirms in Sephiroth's grip.

Sephiroth snarls and tosses Kadaj to the side. Kadaj skids along the wooden floor and flowers, coming to a stop only after breaking through several church chairs and crashing into a pillar that's just barely standing. The blow of Kadaj's body against the pillar finally sends the stone to its limit, resulting in the whole pillar and part of the roof crashing down around Kadaj.

Pained screams echo from within the cloud of dust and flower petals. Sephiroth stands to the side, watching with an amused expression on his face. At last the screams subside along with the dust and flowers.

Calmly, Sephiroth saunters over to the wreckage with long strides, casually picking his way through broken stone, wood, and flowers. After a few moments of searching, he finally locates Kadaj huddled in a pitiful manner.

A sound escapes from Kadaj, a cross between a sob and a moan. In his right hand, he clutches a bloodied and broken left hand within his grasp. Surprisingly, the rest of his body is mostly unharmed except for minor scratches and bruises.

Sephiroth reaches for Kadaj's neck, but then he hesitates and his hand reaches for Kadaj's broken hand instead. Grabbing the bloodied hand, Sephiroth yanks Kadaj up to his feet, resulting in a shrill cry of pain from the remnant.

"I don't want any excuses from you." Sephiroth hisses as he squeezes the hand tighter. "Understand?"

Kadaj nods weakly, his face now streaked with dust and tears. "Y...yes…"

Sephiroth releases Kadaj. "Good. Besides...you should like this world. Here, your body isn't messed up and scarred. Your body is the perfection it should be."

Kadaj could only nod weakly as he slumps down onto the floor, cradling his broken hand to his chest.

"Where were we last time before you...ah...left…?" Sephiroth purrs menacingly. "Oh right...I remember. Your punishment. Aren't I right, my poor remnant?'

Kadaj suddenly leaps to his feet and sprints past the surprised Sephiroth. He leaps through a hole in the wall and stumbles as his feet catch on the edge of of the gap. Within milliseconds, Sephiroth was on top of him, pinning Kadaj down on the grass.

Clearly enraged, Sephiroth purposely steps on the injured hand as he gets off Kadaj. "You little...luckily there is no way to escape unless you wake up. And you can't run from me for long."

Kadaj screams, struggling to get his hand out from under Sephiroth's foot. "Ah! I'm sorry!"

Sephiroth finally removes his foot from the hand and then proceeds to drag Kadaj back into the church, not caring as Kadaj drags along the floor as he struggles to stand up and catch up to Sephiroth's brisk pace.

"Now the punishment." Sephiroth snarls. "I've got a lot of things planned for you…"

Sephiroth promptly walks over to a broken glass window and picks up a glass shard. He returns with the glass shard held menacingly in his grasp.

"Take it off."

Kadaj blinks, wondering if he heard Sephiroth correctly. "Wha-?"

"I said 'Take it off'." Sephiroth repeats.

"T...take what off?' Kadaj stammers.

Sephiroth gestures at Kadaj's leather clothing. Surprised at the request, Kadaj can only stand there dumbly. Sephiroth sighs in annoyance and instead does that for him, leaving Kadaj laying there with only his pants and shoes.

Sephiroth flips Kadaj over so he can see the remnant's bare back. Taking the glass shard, he slowly starts to press down on the pale back, breaking skin and releasing blood as he engraves something into Kadaj's back.

Kadaj screams, writhing as he tries to escape the sharp edge of the glass. However, Sephiroth is much too overpowering. Kadaj has no hope of escaping the firm grasp.

A few agonizing minutes later, Sephiroth finally gets off Kadaj. Kadaj gasps from the floor from both relief and pain. Blood slowly trickles down his back and onto the flowers beneath him, staining them a slight pink colour. Kadaj whimpers as Sephiroth leans down and teasingly licks some of the blood off, purposely using his teeth to bite at the cuts.

"I don't think that's enough…" Sephiroth smirks. "I don't think you've learned your lesson quite yet…"

Kadaj lets out a small scared squeak. "No!...I have…"

Sephiroth ignores his pitiful pleads and drags him up by the hair. "Let's go to a certain...place."

"W...where?"

"Oh you'll see…"

Sephiroth starts walking briskly out of the church, dragging Kadaj's battered body behind him like a rag doll. Kadaj attempts to keep up with the fast pace to prevent himself from being dragged along the floor and to lessen the pain from Sephiroth yanking at his hair.

But Sephiroth is much too fast for the weakened remnant. It is only in the matter of moments before Kadaj is gasping for breath as his feet drag along the grass.

Sephiroth suddenly turns around, drawing them both to a stop. Kadaj stumbles and promptly faceplants into the ground.

Sephiroth, who isn't even out of breath, scowls in disapproval. "I expected more from you."

Kadaj looks away from Sephiroth, ashamed of how weak he is. Surely mother would never love someone as powerless as him. What hope did he have to prove that he was indeed useful to Jenova?

"Mother still has plans for you." Sephiroth says suddenly as if he was reading Kadaj's mind. "Personally, I don't think you're useful at all...but I do what mother says."

Kadaj almost lets out a breath of relief. Maybe it was still possible to be loved by her.

"Now get moving." Sephiroth commands.

Almost robotically, Kadaj stands up and shuffles after Sephiroth. Sephiroth slows down his pace to allow Kadaj to follow after him. Moments later, they are entering the woods filled with white, almost glowing, leafless trees.

"A...are we heading to...the...the...Forgotten City…?" Kadaj asks in a small, hesitant, fearful voice.

Sephiroth ignores him and continues walking. Soon, Kadaj confirms that they are indeed headed towards the Forgotten City.

At last, they stop walking when they come to a small pond of water. Kadaj peers down at the clear water, no longer a murky black that he had once turned it to. The face of a frightened white haired boy stares back at him as memories of the children come back to him.

Those innocent children. Kadaj had literally turned them into slaves that did whatever he told them to do. Before, he had thought that it doing so would make him less lonely, the children with geostigma connecting him to his mother and becoming little brothers or sisters to comfort him. But now that he thinks about it, what he did was just pure cruelty.

"You remember this place...don't you?" Sephiroth smiles darkly.

Kadaj nods, his face pale in fear. The image of Marlene hugging Loz's leg and Denzel staring blankly ahead with green eyes keeps flashing in his mind. Something finally snaps within Kadaj. He leaps up and suddenly kicks the unprepared Sephiroth in the face.

Sephiroth recoils in shock. Taking advantage of the surprise attack, Kadaj sprints off into the woods, not caring of branches that scratch his body as he runs.

Run. He needs to run. To get away from Sephiroth. To escape from this place. To run from the memories.

A sudden heavy weight on his back sends Kadaj sprawling on the floor. Sephiroth slams Kadaj's broken hand against the floor, releasing a scream of agony from Kadaj.

Sephiroth's black wing beats furiously in the air, his face twisted in a look of anger and danger. A brown smudge of dirt on his cheek shows clearly how successful that kick was.

"Why you little...I swear...I'll kill you." Sephiroth snarls as he drags Kadaj back to the pond. "Unfortunately, mother doesn't allow me to. But once I can...I'll make sure it will be a long and painful death…"

Kadaj squirms, desperate to get away from the small pond. To his dismay, he finds himself once again staring at his reflection in the pond. He only stares at himself for a mere second before Sephiroth's hand shoves his head into the water.

The coldness of the water seeps through his skin, chilling his bones as Kadaj struggles to break free from Sephiroth's unrelenting grasp. Small bubbles of precious air escapes from Kadaj's mouth, floating to the surface and disappearing into the sky. His lungs feel as they were being compressed, forcing all the oxygen that remains out of his body. A burning sensation gradually builds in his chest, growing to the point that it was near unbearable. Air. He needs air now. Opening his mouth, Kadaj's body forces him to draw in a huge breath. Only there is no air, only water.

His vision begins to cloud, black dots seemingly to creep in from the edge of his vision. Slowly, he feels his consciousness slipping away. A cold blast of air suddenly blasts in Kadaj's face and his body immediately responds with a pained gasp of air. He chokes, hacking out water from his lungs as he coughs while droplets of water drip from his hair.

A wave of relief floods him, only to quickly leave him as Sephiroth shoves his head back under the water once again. The same burning pain overwhelms him again in an instant, only for the relief of air to come back when his consciousness is almost gone.

Part of Kadaj wishes that Sephiroth just held him under there to end the constant pain. However, Sephiroth makes sure that he does not slip away into unconsciousness.

Sephiroth finally stops after long minutes of doing this. Kadaj struggles to regain his world gradually begins to fade away, becoming almost a black void.

Sephiroth smirks. "I will see you next time."

Then, the nightmare world evaporates into a mere memory.

Kadaj jerks up from his bed, gasping as he draws in breaths of air. Cloud and Tifa look down at him in worry. A small circle of blood stains the blanket where his hand is. A quick glance at the bed also confirms the fact that his back is bleeding too.

"Kadaj! How did this happen!?" Tifa demands. "Tell me."

Kadaj shakes his head weakly, clutching his broken hand to his chest.

Cloud gently pulls Tifa aside. "Kadaj...please. We need to know how this happened to you."

Refusing to speak, Kadaj stays silent and avoids Cloud's gaze.

Cloud sighs. "Alright. Let's clean you up first...but after that we need to talk. Understand?"

Kadaj looks away but allows Cloud to take his broken hand gently.

"Tifa...get me a bucket of water and towel please. And...uh...get the kids out…"

Tifa nods and goes to do so. Kadaj continues to stare at the wall as Cloud tends to his hand.

Cloud moves on to wash the blood off Kadaj's back. He can tell that there are words engraved into Kadaj's back, but through all the blood, it is hard to tell what it says. Using the wet towel, Cloud gently wipes away all the blood until the letters are visible. All of a sudden, Cloud drops the towel and knocks over the bucket of pink bloody water as he steps backwards, splashing it all over the floor.

Kadaj turns around in surprise, only to find Cloud staring at his back with eyes wide open in shock and fear.

"W...what…" Kadaj rasps out, trying to see his back.

Cloud closes his eyes as he takes in a deep breath to calm himself. "On your back...it says...it says…"

Kadaj looks at Cloud impatiently, wishing for him to get to the point already.

"'You are just a puppet'..."

Kadaj pales upon realizing that he had been scarred for life, tainted by the being that he was created from. He grabs the upturned bucket on the floor and promptly vomits.

* * *

Reno peers down at Loz, studying the big man on the ground in front of him. Loz stares back, his face showing obvious surprise upon seeing the redhead. Rude stands behind Reno, looking around the barren dirt land around him as if trying to look for some other form of life. All three of them fall into an awkward silence.

Reno is the first to speak. "Yo. How do you stand the heat in that leather clothing!?"

Loz blinks, clearly not expecting such a question. "Uh...um…."

"Well, who cares 'bout that." Reno replies before Loz can finish speaking. "Where's the other guy? You know...the one that I was fighting while you were fighting Rude."

Rude gives a cough of annoyance. "That was one hell of a fight I hated. You hit me with your lead pipe, Reno, and almost hit me again. Not to mention a sign fell on my head followed by you. And even worse, you stepped on a pair of my sunglasses. And then you crashed the helicopter."

Reno groans and turns to face Rude. "C'mon! I said I was sorry! And hey, the helicopter crashing wasn't my fault. Blame it on whatshisface...they guy who's supposed to be with this guy. He shot the controller and broke it. Not me."

"But you still need to pay for the sunglasses."

"No I don't! You've got plenty!"

"You've also got to pay for the last six you broke too."

"Ruuuuuuuuudddddddddeeeeeeeeee!"

Rude ignores Reno's pleas and focuses back on Loz. "Where's your brother?"

Loz shrugs. "Yazoo went off to look for somewhere safe we could stay...but I don't know exactly where he is...I saw him go that way." He points in the general location Yazoo went. "Yaz said he would come back for me…"

Reno nods. "Alright. Let's go look for him. Then we'll bring ya both back so you guys can see your other brother."

"Other brother!?" Loz exclaims, almost jumping up in joy upon hearing this. Of course he couldn't with his malfunctioning legs.

Reno nods again. "Yeah. What's his name again? K...Kabob? Cake?"

Rude sighs. "It's Kadaj."

"Yeah. Him."

Loz's eyes light up in pure excitement. "He's alive!"

"Yup. Now let's go."

Reno and Rude turn around to get back onto the helicopter. Loz attempts to follow them but only succeeds in dragging himself a foot before giving up.

"A bit of help here!" Loz shouts after them.

Reno turns and blinks. "Ya can't walk?'

Loz shakes his head sullenly.

'Alright. Rude, go carry him."

Rude scowls at Reno and promptly smacks him on the head. "Why me?'

"Cus you're stronger than me. End of story."

Rude rolls his eyes and proceeds to drag Loz onto the helicopter.

Reno sits in the pilot seat and grins at the two of them. "Ready? Let's go!"

Slowly, the helicopter rises and moves towards the direction Yazoo headed in.

* * *

Yazoo stumbles as he continues trekking through the dirt land. So far, he has not found anything of much use except for rocks. Wincing as the heat of the sun continues to burn his pale skin, Yazoo wonders if he should start heading back for Loz.

He glances backwards at his footprints. It is probably best to go back to Loz.

A sudden breeze sweeps through the area. At first, it feels quite refreshing after the long walk in the burning heat. However, the breeze quickly becomes a ferocious wind, picking up dirt and rock as it blows over the ground. Yazoo loses his footing and tumbled onto the ground.

He curls up in a small ball on the ground, protecting his face and mouth from the particles of dust in the air. After many long moments of staying like this, the wind finally dies down and Yazoo stands back up.

The wind had swept away all signs of his footprints and scrambled his sense of direction. Wherever Yazoo looks, the scenery seems the same.

A bubble of dread rises up from within. He spins around several times, desperate in finding some sort of indicator in which way he came from.

"Crap. No. Which way?!" He begins to panic.

As the feeling of anxiety bubbles over the rim, he begins to sprint in a random direction, the fear pushing him to keep going. All sense of logic is overwhelmed by the panic. The only thing Yazoo can think of is to run, find the right way to go, and get back to Loz.

It is only after long minutes of running that he finally comes to a stop. The panic is still there but now logic has at least returned to him.

Immediately, he curses at himself for being so stupid. Why had he run in some random direction? Now surely he had gotten himself more lost.

Yazoo groans.

"I'm sorry, Loz. I don't think I'll make it back...I'm sorry…"

* * *

_A/N: Yay! 3000 words. Good. Within the word range I wanted it to be. XD. Whelp...I kinda feel bad now for what happened to Kadaj. I wanted torture...but...uh...sorta went _a bit _overboard with it. ^^;. I wanted to do a simple toss to the ground and the glass...but...the simple toss ended up as a broken roof and pillar plus a broken hand...and the glass...well...that was planned. The almost drowning...yeah...that...was totally not planned. Actually, Byaku suggested black widow venom but I is too lazy to research that. Might do it later though. XD. And the glass part was my friend 's idea. XD. _

_(If Sephiroth was a potato then he would wage war against the yams - Byaku 2014)_

_((...right...sure…..O_o))_

_Whelp. That's it. Please review! Please!_


	5. Chapter 5: Pears

_Ok...there weren't many reviews...T^T...sadly...but meh. Still gonna go on with the story! XD. Lol. One of the moments where I'm just bursting with ideas. There are so many ways this can go...and..well..I can only choose one. Let's see what will happen. ;)_

_Mystical Authoress: Yes. Poor him. XP. *Iamacruelperson*_

_Fronkokomando: I kinda feel bad too...for being the author and making them go through all this pain...but...I do kinda need it for the story to happen…^^;...but maybe I should tone down the pain and torture a bit...XD_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII!**_

_And of course thanks to Byaku again (*crap forgot to include this in the last several chapters.* sry Byaku!) for editing my horrible grammering._

_(Note: Can I just say please stop writing terrible grammar on purpose - it's painful :P)_

_((No. I write will keep grammering bad because that. XD))_

* * *

Kadaj shivers even though the thick blankets are wrapped tightly around his body. The constant feeling of fear and panic surrounds him like an unshakable barrier to reality. A heavy silence fills the quiet room, settling like a rain cloud over them all. Without consciously realizing it, Kadaj draws himself into a tight ball while his fingernails dig into his arms so much that it nearly breaks his scarred skin. He barely notices that with his mind overly focused on the fear.

"It's not real…" he whispers to himself softly, trying to convince his mind that none of this is actually happening. "It's not real…"

However, no matter how many times Kadaj repeats that, his mind and body knows fairly well that what had happened is definitely real.

Quite awkwardly, Cloud shuffles over to Kadaj's side and sits down on the bed. The bed squeaks in protest at the weight of the two people on it. Without a word, Cloud draws Kadaj closer to him, embracing the remnant gently to soothe him and perhaps stop the shivering.

At last the shivering stops but not because of the warmth of Cloud's body. It is rather the fact that Cloud's body serves as a sense of security to Kadaj. The arms around his body hold him in a semi protective way with both comfort and reassurance.

Tifa, who stands on the opposite side of the room, shoots Cloud a look that clearly means 'Hurry up and find out what's wrong'. Cloud nods slightly in response and returns his gaze to the pale silver haired boy in his arms but doesn't rush to ask him anything.

Kadaj sits there stiffly in Cloud's arms, staring blankly at the folds of the blanket before him. The only sign that he actually feels Cloud's embrace is the cessation of the shivering. Though after a few moments, his stiff body relaxes a slight bit and his head slides over to rest on Cloud's chest. Kadaj closes his eyes, seemingly asleep except for the constant silent mouthing of the words 'It's not real'.

Cloud leaves Kadaj like this for a little bit while observing the him. The silver haired remnant doesn't seem as dangerous as he did weeks ago with the anger raging inside him. Now, he only seems like a small, lost child who has been hurt too many times.

At last Cloud finally speaks up, breaking the heavy, yet peaceful silence that fills the room. "Tifa. Would you mind telling Marlene and Denzel to stop trying to eavesdrop from behind the door?'

Tifa immediately turns her gaze to the door where sounds of 'eeps' and scrambling feet are clearly heard. She sighs and promptly opens the door to find Marlene and Denzel sprinting away.

"I'll go talk to them." Tifa sighs as she exits the room, leaving the two of them alone.

As soon as the door shuts, Cloud focuses back onto Kadaj. "Kadaj...I know you don't want to talk about this...but we need to know what happened."

Kadaj immediately stiffens and weakly attempts to shove Cloud away.

"Kadaj!" Cloud says with a slightly commanding tone. "Please. You've got to trust us. We can't let you go on like this with these mysterious wounds and such. We're here to help! But we can't if you don't tell us what's wrong…"

Kadaj turns away from Cloud, stubbornly refusing to say anything.

Cloud sighs, dropping his arms from the embrace as Kadaj scoots away from him. After a few moments, Cloud finally speaks again.

"It's Sephiroth, right?"

Kadaj slowly and hesitantly turns to face Cloud, his reaction and countenance immediately confirming that he was indeed correct.

"I've fought him before and won. This is your fight against him, not mine. I can't fight for you but I can help you win."

A look of uncertainty flickers in Kadaj's eyes, but he hesitantly nods.

"A...Alright…" Kadaj whispers, seemingly to crumble in front of Cloud's gaze. "But I don't think you'll believe this...it's...too crazy to be actually true…right?"

Cloud gestures at the words carved into Kadaj's back. "I think something too crazy to be true will be believable once someone sees that."

Kadaj sighs, sounding utterly defeated and exhausted. "Well...you were right...it is Sephiroth. In my dreams...nightmare...he came to me...no...he brought me to the place where you last fought him." Kadaj pauses at this spot, shuddering in fear as he recalls the events of that nightmare. Cloud pats his back gently, careful to avoid the wounds, and encourages him to continue. As he draws in a shaky breath, Kadaj resumes speaking. "Mother is disappointed at me...for failing...to...to...to kill you...so Sephiroth punished me. It's supposed to be only a dream! But when I wake up...I...I" Kadaj trails off, a crazy and panicked look flickering on his face.

"I see…" Cloud murmurs. "it does sound too crazy to be true...but I believe you anyways."

Kadaj suddenly lets out a yelp of fear, shoving Cloud away with all his strength, sending Cloud stumbling off the bed. "I shouldn't have told you any of this! Now...now mother...she'll be mad. And then...and then she'll…"

A finger touches Kadaj's lips, quieting his panicked cries to ragged breathing. Gently, Cloud cups Kadaj's face in his palm and turns the remnant so that he is looking at the blond ex-SOLDIER. Kadaj finally falls completely silent as his gaze meets with the mako blue eyes.

Cloud speaks with soft and gentle tone, careful in keeping the calm air around them. "I can't promise that you won't be hurt again by him. But I will promise that I will get you out of this mess. Until then, please bear with the pain and everything. In the end, all will be alright…"

Kadaj slowly nods as if in a trance. The words sound so true to him. It all seems believable. But a single thought flutters through his mind, immediately shattering the notion of 'all will be well'.

"What do you want from me?" Kadaj asks harshly, glaring at Cloud's surprised face.

"Wait...wha-"

"Don't pretend. I'm the enemy! I tried to kill you remember! Why would you help me unless you got something in return?!"

Cloud sits there, completely shocked by the sudden change of mood. "Nothing! I want nothing from you other than to help you get through this...'

Kadaj narrows his eyes suspiciously. "I don't believe you."

"It's the truth. All we want to do is help you. I think that you can change...you can turn from an enemy to a friend. You're not completely evil, you know…" Cloud trails off, unsure of what to say next.

"No." Kadaj objects. "I am evil. I'm the enemy. I'm the darkness. There's no light within me. That won't change. I'll always be the enemy and you'll always be the good guy."

"That's not-"

"That's not true?! Well you're wrong. Back then, I always thought that what I did for mother was a good thing. But now...here...when I think about what I did...all the people I've killed, all the children I used, and everything else terrible that I've done...I can only think of myself as a monster. Nothing can change that."

Cloud lets Kadaj calm down a bit before speaking up again. "You now realize that what you've done is a bad thing. That's good...you're changing...and that's your first step."

"No it isn't. I'll always be a monster...the darkness within me stays…"

Cloud lets out a small sigh. "Not everything is light and dark, white and black, good and evil like you think it is. Most, if not all, things are in-between and gray."

Kadaj opens his mouth as if to protest against that claim but then closes it when no words come out.

"You won't tell anyone what I said...right?" Kadaj finally whispers hesitantly as he gazes up at Cloud.

Cloud shakes his head. "I won't tell anyone."

"Not even Tifa."

Cloud frowns. "But she can help you too…"

"Please…."

Before Cloud can reply, the door opens and Tifa walks back in with a huff.

"I'm sorry I took so long. Marlene and Denzel really wanted to know what was going on. And when I finally took care of those two and sent them outside to play, Tseng came by because Rufus asked him to come and see how the situation with Kadaj was going…"

Kadaj stiffens obviously at the sound of Rufus's name. A look of anger flashes in his eyes briefly.

"So...anything happen in here, Cloud?' Tifa asks.

Kadaj freezes completely, dreading for the moment where Cloud will tell Tifa everything.

"Nothing happened." Cloud finally says. "Kadaj won't say anything about what happened...'

Tifa sighs. "I see...that's a shame…"

Kadaj suddenly yawns, a familiar sensation of weakness and sleepiness invading his mind once more. He struggles to keep his eyes open, refusing to fall asleep.

Cloud notices this and sits back down on the bed by Kadaj. "It's okay. Go to sleep. I'll be right here to wake you up if anything happens."

Kadaj nods as his head sinks down into the pillows. He still struggles to stay awake for a few more moments, mentally preparing himself for what is to come.

Through barely opened eyes, Kadaj watches as Cloud gestures for Tifa to sit by him when they watch him sleep. Tifa nods and makes herself comfortable there.

''We're right here…" Cloud says softly. Tifa nods in agreement.

With that, Kadaj allows himself to fall into the world of dreams once again.

* * *

Loz peers out of the helicopter, scanning the boring brown landscape for any signs of his brother. A strong wind blows outside, shaking the helicopter fearfully. Through all the dust suddenly blown in the air, Loz can see nothing.

Reno struggles to keep the helicopter balanced and in the air. "Stupid wind…"

Rude frowns, trying to see through all the dust. "If it's too difficult for you to fly in this wind, go ahead and land."

"Nah. I like a good challenge like this. Don't worry. I'll make it through the wind safe and sound."

Shaking his head in disapproval, Rude picks up his phone. "I'll call boss and tell him we found one of them."

Reno nods slightly with a slightly insane grin on his face as he focuses on steering the helicopter.

Loz grips the edge of his seat tightly, his heart beating rapidly in his chest with each bump and sway of the helicopter. Trying to take his mind off the terrifying flight through the strong wind, he focuses in on the conversation on the phone.

"Yes, boss. We've found one of them and we're looking for the other one right now...uh...where are we? Somewhere east of Midgar...We have the bigger one...Yes. The one with short hair and a larger build...I see...I understand, sir… ! Reno! Don't make such sharp movements with the helicopter! Sorry, sir...Got it."

Rude hangs up just as the wind suddenly dies down.

"See! I told ya I'll make it through the wind!" Reno cheers happily. "I really am an ace pilot."

Loz slowly relaxes, glad that the worst was over...or at least what he thought was the worst.

Rude suddenly frowns. "I'll say that you're the stupidest pilot ever. Didn't I tell you to refill the fuel tank before we left?"

Reno turns immediately to look at the fuel gauge. The bar sits at the bottom of the gauge, a sight that sent a flare of panic surging around the room.

Letting out a stream of curses, Reno grabs the helicopter's controls just as the fuel completely runs out. The sound of spinning blades above their heads slowly grinds to a halt. Almost like in slow motion, the helicopter begins to tip over and fall, slow at first but then rapidly increasing in speed.

Screaming, Reno leaps out of his seat and onto Rude, hugging the larger man as if he was a life preserver. Rude grunts in surprise and attempts to yank Reno off him.

Loz lets out a whimper, knowing what is to become of them. He clutches onto his seat tightly, memories of his short life flashing before him. Yazoo...his beautiful brother who doesn't remember anything. Kadaj...his strong brother who guided him on what to do. Those two people were the most prominent in all his memories. A small tear forms at the corner of his eyes. _Don't cry, Loz._ Squeezing his eyes shut, he wills himself to obey his brother's words but the tear drifts out anyways, falling away with a sparkle into the sunlight.

"Get off of me, Reno! At least attempt to save the helicopter from total destruction!" Rude scowls, shoving Reno off at last and grabbing the helicopter controls.

After a second, the helicopter catches a small drift and the descent slows down a bit, but not enough so that it won't crash.

"Where are the parachutes!?" Reno yelps.

"You said that it wasn't going to be necessary because you were an 'ace pilot'!"

"Why am I so stupid?!"

"I've always wondered the same thing!"

And then, with a jarring impact and the loud crinkle of metal, the helicopter meets the ground with a deadly embrace…

* * *

Yazoo squints against the sun's setting rays as he notices something sparkling in the distance. The shining object descends rapidly, on its course to collide with the ground. Curious, he picks up his pace and changes course for the strange sparkle.

The object hits the ground with a force that sends more sparkles into the air around it along with an explosion that seems small from the distance. It is only until he gets closer that Yazoo realizes that the sparkle is a helicopter.

In his exhausted mind, his mind slowly connects the word helicopter with the notion of rescue. As soon as that clicks in his brain, Yazoo gasps and sprints toward the 'sparkle'.

When he finally reaches the crashed helicopter, the first thing he notices is that red diamond. Curious, he studies the diamond even more.

"Shin...ra?' Yazoo reads with a confused look on his face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

The first person he finds is a small redhead. His goggles lay on the floor besides him, crushed and broken upon impact. A cut runs along his forehead, spilling blood over the black cushion below him which he clutches on tightly. Upon further inspection, Yazoo realizes that the cushion was not a cushion but rather a larger bald man. Surprisingly, the man's dark sunglasses stayed intact through the whole thing.

"Who are these people?" Yazoo wonders to himself, as he checks to see if they were alive. Surprisingly, both were still breathing.

Glancing around once more, he notices one more body near the back. Yazoo approaches the body hidden in the darkness carefully. His suspicious gaze slowly turns to one of surprise and then horror. The familiar muscular build and the short spiky hair or his brother sends a jolt of fear through Yazoo. Dropping to his knees, he rapidly checks for a pulse or a breath from Loz. To his relief, a steady pulse beats beneath his fingertips and his chest rises slowly with each breath.

Cradling Loz's heads in his arms, Yazoo lets tears of relief trickle down his face, falling on Loz's face.

"Thank goodness you're alive…" Yazoo mutters to no one in particular.

After a few moments of silence, Yazoo returns to the other two men and rummages through their pockets for anything of use. He looks through the redhead's pocket's first, finding only a paper clip, lead pipe, a chocobo toy, a voodoo doll, old bacon, and a dead frog. Tossing away the dead frog in disgust, Yazoo proceeds to look through the bald guys' pockets. To his relief, he finds no more dead frogs and instead finds a working phone.

The light of the phone illuminates the interior of the helicopter, much like an angel coming down to hell to rescue him.

Yazoo presses the first contact on the phone and calls, praying that someone will answer. To his relief, someone picks up immediately.

"Hello?"

Yazoo opens his mouth to speak but finds himself too overjoyed by the possibility of actual rescue to say anything. Could he maybe get Loz to a place where they can relax and stop worrying? Maybe they might see his brother Kadaj? Maybe he could get his memory back?

"Hello? Rude?" The male voice asks, confused and suspicious at the silence.

Yazoo finally drags himself from his thoughts back to the phone in his hands. "Oh. Um…"

"You're not Rude."

"I...I'm not. But...I found a crashed helicopter...and found this phone in a man's pocket...and...um…they're injured...along with my brother."

"Your brother?"

"Yes...he was in the helicopter."

"May I ask you for a name?"

"Yazoo...I think."

There is a long pause on the other side of the phone. Yazoo waits, the silence making him worry that the man was going to hang up on him.

"Hello? Are you still there?" Yazoo asks cautiously.

"Oh. Yes." the man replies. "I'll send another helicopter for you right away. You're east of Midgar, am I right?"

"I...I don't know…"

"...I'm sending a helicopter now. Stay there and do not move anywhere until the helicopter arrives. Understand?"

"Yes. And...who am I speaking to?"

The man hesitates before answering. "Shinra. Rufus Shinra."

Yazoo searches his mind for anything that name might trigger but finds none except for the red diamond he saw earlier on the helicopter and from Loz's short explanation of what happened. Other than that, the name draws a blank.

"Thank you, Mr. Shinra…" Yazoo adds before hanging up.

He crawls back to Loz and gently cradles the boy's head in his arms once more…

* * *

_A/N: And that's the chapter. XD. Not too long. XD. I had to add a bunch of funny moments when it comes to Reno and Rude. Any moment with those two are hilarious. XD. _

_Oh. And do not question how the helicopter crashes with an explosion but all of them still live. Let's just say its magic. XD._

_Please review! I would greatly appreciate that! XD_

_(Editors Note: So Paiko switched out "Loz peers out the helicopter" with "Loz pears out the helicopter" ((THAT WAS A TYPO!)) so obviously this is needed: "PEARS! I sacrifice you to a noble cause! O Great and Powerful Gods of the Fruit, who so lovingly provide us with valuable vitamins that help discourage scurvy, accept this bountiful gift and grant my wish! I seek the location of my beloved brethren Yazoo, who has lost his memories of glorious life! Please grant this request, and every Christmas I will offer to you fifty pounds of strawberries, kiwis, and bananas! ((bananananananas)) Also, this is approximately 22.6796 kilograms! ((nuo! nuo math allowed here!)) In case you are not well versed in the formerly-English-but-now-mainly-American measurement system! Please don't hurt me!)_

_((Im just gonna reply with a facepalm, headdesk, and headwall.))_

_(Listen well young kohais, this is the true sign of friendship. And bromance. And probably sismance, but that is a really painful word to say.)_

_((...totally calling this chapter 'Pears'. XD))_


	6. Chapter 6: Struggles

_Whelp...4 day weekend. Lots of time to write...minus the fact I have a bunch of notes to take and a project that I haven't even started yet due when I get back. but...whatev...XD. *moment of major procrastination* Now what to do in this chapter….*evil grin*. Yeah. Go ahead and call me a sadist...XP. But none of you will kill me or hurt me for this, right? *happy kawaii grin*. Well, time to get on with this story...once I reply to the reviews and stuffu like that. XD._

_frankokomando: Yay! XD. I'm glad that you like this. I'll definitely try to update more nows! XD_

_Mystical Authoress: Whenever Reno and Rude are involved, it's always hilarious. XP|  
Thank Byaku for that whole pear situation (and Paiko for making the typo in the first place). XD. Her magical and creative (__Dude. No one has ever called my mind creative. Mostly they're just __ಠ_____ಠ "__Just-just stop.")((Yes Byaku. Your mind is creative. I only go __ಠ_____ಠ __when you make those 'that's what she said' jokes))__mind comes up with the awesomest thingies. XD_

_Guest: Go love Byaku for the "O Great and Powerful Gods of the Fruit" part. XD.  
And thank you so much for love(x3)ing my story! *encourages me to write mores* XD_

_SoClearICanSeeForever: Thank Byaku for the awesome fruit thing. And thank you for the compliment on the story! XD_

_Ultimolu: I make the first chapter sad cus I'm a cruel and sadistic person who loves rainbow unicorns and sparkles. XD *makes no sense*  
I don't think I would want to sleep either if I was Kadaj. But...you can't stay awake forever. XD. *goes under bed to comfort you* It's not a good idea to hide under the bed. There can be bugs. *shudders*. Hiding under blankets is more convenient.  
Byaku suggests that everyone needs therapy...XD...but coffee and chocolate will work wonders as well. XD_

_FinalFantasy7Freak6: XD. Yes they do survive! *always have wanted that to happen* XD  
If I were the remnants, I wouldn't trust anyone...well...except for moogles...you can always trust a moogle...right? *too cute to be dangerous* XD. But definitely don't trust Shinra. ;)  
As for pairings, I've been considering it from the beginning. I'm not sure about having them yet...but one can probably guess what pairings I like already. XD_

_(Byaku's Note: #pearlife #everyoneneedstherapy)_

((#turdlife))

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII. If I did, certain people *cough SPOILER zackandaerith cough* wouldn't have died.**

And once again thanks to Byaku for editing and making awesome pear comments. But...also thanks to her random comments on the side, things with Kadaj are not gonna go so well. XP.

* * *

Kadaj sits up, blinking as his eyes adjust to the dark place he is in. At first, the only thing that registers into his mind is the fact that he is in a bed. Clutching a blanket to his body, he looks around the room, confirming that it is indeed the room he is in in the real world. However, the figures of Cloud and Tifa next to him are replaced with _a _dark and forbidding aura of anger and frustration.

A dark tall figure leans against the wall, panting and gasping as if he had just ran here from afar. Scowling, he stumbles to the window and pulls the curtains apart with such force and anger that the cloth tears into two pieces. Hazy light bursts into the room, illuminating the man's long silver hair and the walls around him. He throws the window open, tossing away the torn cloth in his hands and taking in deep breaths of fresh air.

Sephiroth curses darkly as he finally catches his breath. "Do you know how difficult it is to put you to sleep rather than waiting for your body to fall asleep by itself?!"

"No wonder I felt so sleepy all of a sudden after I just woke up…" Kadaj mutters to himself. "Why did you do that?"

Sephiroth straightens up from the window and steps towards Kadaj, the light from the window creating a fuzzy glow around him and a dark silhouette of the man.

"You want to know why?" Sephiroth scowls. "It was mother's orders. Of course, I would do anything she tells me to do. Care to guess why she might want that?"

Kadaj shakes his head desperately. "I...I don't know...was...was it from kicking you when I tried to escape?"

Sephiroth lets out a cold laugh. "No. No. That's not it. But I'll be sure to make you pay for that. The actual reason is the fact that you told Cloud about all this."

It finally clicks in Kadaj's brain. "Oh...I'm-"

"Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. Mother wants me to punish you once again until you understand obedience. I won't go easy on you…"

Kadaj squeaks. "How did you know I told Cloud?"

Sephiroth smirks. "From the lifestream, one can see anything and everything."

"But...they'll wake me up if anything happens!?"

"On the contrary, by forcing you to sleep, I've put you in a state where you can't be woken up by anyone unless I decide you can go."

Kadaj pales, realizing what can happen. "So...does that mean…"

"No." Sephiroth replies, as if reading his mind. "I can't hold you here forever. And I don't intend to. You're useless here."

"What am I supposed to do then?"

Sephiroth smirks as he leans closer to Kadaj. "You want to be loved by mother, don't you?"

Kadaj nods eagerly in response. "Yes!"

"Well then. Mother has a simple task for you. I doubt it's all that hard. All you have to do...is kill Cloud."

A strangled cry escapes from Kadaj. Cloud was the person that had comforted him and been there when he needed him. Even though they were once enemies, Cloud had ignored that fact and helped Kadaj. His touch and soothing voice gives Kadaj a sense of brotherly love that calms him. He didn't really realize it before but he really wants that feeling back again, the feeling of being loved...the feeling of someone actually caring for him.

But mother will love him too if he kills Cloud, right? He is reluctant to lose that sense of comfort, but he would receive his mother's loved in return. He recalls his mother's harsh and painful voice in his head. Then he recalls the fact that Cloud was once his enemy. Who could he trust? Who would give him the love he needs and wants? Torn between the two options, Kadaj sits there silently.

"Not sure on what to do?" Sephiroth purrs. "Let me add in a bit of persuasion. Mother will love you well. She'll care for you if you do as she says. But...if you disobey, it's not that hard to kill you. Am I right?"

Kadaj pales, only just realizing that if Sephiroth kills him here, then his body in the real world will also die. "I'll...I'll do it. I'll kill him. For mother…"

"That's a good boy." Sephiroth grins. "But don't forget we need to punish you for what you told Cloud…"

Kadaj whimpers as he remembers that.

Sephiroth towers over him and pushes the remnant back down on the bed. He leans over so that his mouth in uncomfortably close to Kadaj's ear.

"Now scream…" Sephiroth whispers to Kadaj.

And Kadaj screams.

* * *

Cloud almost dozes off as he rests his head on Tifa's shoulder. Kadaj almost seems to be sleeping peacefully. Perhaps Kadaj isn't in the world with Sephiroth now...maybe he is just sleeping. Cloud clings onto that small flicker of hope. Seeing Kadaj fall asleep so quickly like that right after he had just woken up scares him. A thousand excuses and possible explanations flutter around his mind but none of them seemed too possible, other than the fact that Kadaj may have just been too exhausted from the nightmares and fallen into a peaceful sleep. Cloud quietly hopes that that's the case.

However, just as Cloud's eyes close, Kadaj begins screaming, thrashing around and tangling himself in the blankets.

Both Cloud and Tifa jump in surprise, crashing into each other in the process. They stumble onto the floor. Cursing slightly, they scramble back up to their feet and to Kadaj.

Cloud places a hand on Kadaj's shoulder gently, shaking him to wake him up. Kadaj remains unresponsive to Cloud's touch as he continues shrieking in pure pain and fear. Cloud shakes again and again, progressively getting more desperate with his shaking. But no matter what Cloud nor Tifa do, Kadaj refuses to wake up.

Kadaj kicks around, as if trying to get an invisible entity away from him. His kick goes stray and ends up hitting Cloud in the shoulder. A loud crack is heard, echoing around the room briefly followed by the hiss of pain.

Tifa gasps, rushing over to Cloud's side as Cloud slides to the floor while clutching his arm. "Cloud! Your arm-"

"Forget about my arm." Cloud groans through clenched teeth. "It...it's not that bad…" He shifts a bit, sending a jolt of burning pain up his arm as he lets out a yelp.

Tifa scowls. "Not that bad?! Are you kidding me!? Don't lie to me. You know that I hate it when you do that. Just like when you never told me you had the geostigma."

Cloud looks away from Tifa, an ashamed look fluttering across his face.

Another high pitched scream from Kadaj finally ends their awkward silence.

"Go find a way to wake up Kadaj first…" Cloud mumbles. "That's more important as of now. You can deal with my arm later."

Tifa shoots Cloud an angry look. "He won't wake up. You know that. What can we do about that?"

"I…" Cloud trails off.

"It's a waste of time trying. He's trapped. This is his battle to fight. You can support him...but not with that broken arm." Tifa snaps.

Cloud finally agrees reluctantly. "Alright. Make it quick."

Tifa nods and quickly works on Cloud's arm, trying not to cause him any more pain while doing so. Derping around. She quickly inspects his arm, then gives a jerk. Cloud shouts and hisses, but she pays him no mind. She lifts his arm above his heart, and tightly wraps and secures it.

Cloud focuses on Kadaj to take his mind off the pain for a bit. The screaming from the remant has quieted down now to ragged gasps of breath. Cloud frowns, not knowing if that is a good thing or a bad thing. But as soon as the loud gasps for air calm so that no sound comes from Kadaj, Cloud begins to panic, not receiving any sign that the remnant could be alive.

"Tifa. Can you quickly check to see if Kadaj is alright…" Cloud asks through clenched teeth.

Tifa glances up at Kadaj and nods. She walks over to check on him briefly before returning back to Cloud. "He's alright. Still breathing and all…"

Cloud lets out a sigh of relief. "That's good…"

Tifa nods. "You think he'll be okay?"

"I hope so…"

* * *

Loz groans as consciousness slowly returns to his mind like dense fog slowly fading away to reveal the path before him. A tickling sensation on his face makes him open his eyes to the darkness around him.

The sun had long set, its rays long gone beyond the horizon to bring light to a place somewhere in the west. The only light that remains is the light from the moon's faint glow behind the clouds and the small twinkling stars that remain so far up in the sky.

As Loz waits for his eyes to adjust to the black gloom around him, he reaches up to find out what was tickling his face. Even through his leather glove, he can tell that the thing is soft and silky as strands slide through his fingers. Loz, still confused on what it is, gives a small yank.

A startled yelp comes from above him, scaring Loz and causing him to pull his hand away. However, his hand gets tangled in the tickling object, causing him to yank even more.

"Ow ow ow ow! Stop that, Loz!"

Loz freezes as he recognizes that voice. "Yaz?"

Yazoo lets out a huff of annoyance as he untangles his hair from Loz's hand. "Yes. It's me." He flips open the phone he still has to illuminate both their faces.

Loz grins happily as he sees his brother. "So you did come back to me!...well...sort of…"

Yazoo rolls his eyes, trying to look unamused, but a small relieved grin stays on his face, showing his gratitude for the survival of Loz. "Are you alright?"

Loz sits up with a groan. "I think so...it just hurts everywhere. Nothing serious I think…"

Yazoo sighs in relief. "Thank goodness. I don't know what I would do without you. Right now, if I didn't have you with me, then I would have no clue who I was or what I did…

Loz suddenly frowns and stares at Yazoo. "Does that mean once you find someone who can explain your life better than me, like Kadaj, or regain your memories, then you will have no use for me? Will you forget all about me and go on being mean to me again?" Tears start forming in Loz's eyes in which he wipes away angrily. "Are you just using me? Is that why you're being nice to me?"

"No!" Yazoo replies a bit too quickly. He hesitates before finally speaking again. "Actually...to tell the truth. I don't know. My mind is too confused and deprived of memories to actually know at this moment. Right now, I'm really grateful for you being here for me and I would hate to be mean to you or anything...but...I have no clue on whether my view on that will change as time goes on. I hope it doesn't...but…"

Loz bursts out into tears as he hugs his knees to his chests. Yazoo awkwardly sits to the side, not knowing how to respond or how to comfort.

Yazoo stares at the ground with a sigh. He feels really bad for making Loz cry. Sighing, he shuts the phone, plunging them into darkness once again.

The wind starts to pick up, so Yazoo pulls Loz further into the back of the helicopter to shield them from the cold air nipping at their skin and from the granules of dirt blowing around. He pulls the bald man and the redhead near the back as well.

Loz shivers, his crying now quiet sniffles. "I'm cold…" he whines as he curls up into a small ball.

Yazoo pulls the large man closer to him, awkwardly hugging him to keep him warm. Loz snuggles closer to him, relaxing slightly in his brother's warmth.

Yazoo eventually finds himself starting to doze off. His head leans against Loz's shoulder as he slowly closes his eyes. He almost falls asleep until some shouting wakes him up.

"Ow! Goddamnit! Why is it so dark in here?" a voice yelps from the darkness. "Rude?! Hey! Where are you? OHMYGOD SOMETHING'S MOVING! GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"I'm right here, you doofus. Now stop flailing your arms around and trying to kill me!"

"Oh...that was you? Oops...why is it so dark?"

"I think its night…"

"Oh...I see…"

"Idiot."

Yazoo groans softly. So much for sleep. He quickly flips open the phone, the light startling both Reno and Rude.

"Hey! That's my phone!" Rude scowls. "Give that back!"

Yazoo yawns sleepily and tosses the phone at him. "Take it. I don't need it anymore. Someone's already sending a helicopter to pick us up."

"Hey! You mean that helicopter!" Reno shouts from outside.

Yazoo leaps to his feet and rushes out of the wreckage. Sure enough, a helicopter flies closer from the distance, its searchlights shining down upon them like an angel descending from heaven.

"YES! WE'RE SAVED!" Reno shouts happily as he runs around like a little kid. "Hey Rude! Remind me never to fly a helicopter ever again without checking the fuel! Got it?"

Rude sighs. "That's what you said last time...and you still ignore me when I remind you, but sure."

The helicopter descends. A figure stands at the door, holding on to the side of the helicopter tightly as she waves at them.

"Senpai! Hello!"

They were saved.

* * *

_A/N:...this chapter isn't as long as the other ones...sorry about that. XD. But I got it finished before the 4 day weekend is over so I'm glad about that. XD. Now that I finally got this chapter done (after lots of moments of being distracted), I can finish my notes and hw...O_o...and a project...crap…\(TAT)/…._

_And btw, the thing distracting me while writing this was making a gif of Kadaj dancing Caramelldansen. XD. In my opinion, it's totally worth the distraction. After finishing the Kadaj one, maybe I'll make one with Yazoo and Loz as well...depending on how much time I got. XD_

_(Editor's Note: You can always rely on your kohais to fly a helicopter to the middle of nowhere to save your (aka senpai's) butt. Take that any way you will.)_

_((...XP. When it comes to Reno, lots more than kohais are needed to save his butt. XD))_

_(That's what she said)_

_((Goddamnit….I swear…\(TAT)/...Byaku…))_

_Please review! XD_


End file.
